


a poor prisoner in his twisted gyves

by galvanator



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: ABO, Alpha!Ben, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Ben is Reysexual, Couch Sex, Declarations Of Love, Dom!Ben, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, HEA, Heat Sex, Mating Bites, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mutual Pining, Omega!Rey, Rey is a bossy bottom, Rey is thirsty even if she don't know it, Rey wants that d, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Babies Ever After, Scenting, Smut, Sort of? - Freeform, also ben cries during sex its canon, and she will get that d, pregnancy mention, slight discussion about shitty healthcare coverage, they sex!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:20:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23836018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galvanator/pseuds/galvanator
Summary: Rey looked down onto the empty orange bottle seated on the edge of her bathroom sink. She knew realistically that staring super hard at the bottle wouldn’t magically make it refill with suppressant pills, but she was willing to try anything this point.The newest edition on the ever-growing list of Shit Rey Experiences', is being unable to get suppressants.-Rey can no longer afford suppressants and decided to take on unsuppressed life. Thankfully, Ben is there to help her.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 92
Kudos: 869
Collections: Ijustfellintothissendhelp





	1. doth suffer a sea-change

**Author's Note:**

> i've never written ABO before, but good golly, i have read it and am now ready to take the plunge. plz enjoy!

Rey looked down onto the empty orange bottle seated on the edge of her bathroom sink. She knew realistically that staring super hard at the bottle wouldn’t magically make it refill with suppressant pills, but she was willing to try anything this point. Three minutes of hard staring ended up being unfruitful and Rey let out a defeated sigh.

She had faced quite a few hardships in life. Being abandoned as a child, tossed from foster family to foster family, getting into a university 500 miles away from where she was from, affording said university until she graduated summa cum laude, figuring out a way to survive and pay her loans back simultaneously; the list goes on.

But nothing, _nothing_ , was comparable to the hardship Rey undergoes, continually, as being an omega.

She wishes the hardest part about being an omega was the constant degradation she experiences in the professional world. If it just meant lewd comments and occasional handsy knot-headed alphas, Rey could deal with it no problem. But the fucking _heats_. The claw off your skin, masturbate until your numb, loose your absolute mind heats that made being an omega a living hell. And on suppressants, that only happened once a year.

The newest edition on the ever-growing list of 'Shit Rey Experiences', is being unable to get suppressants.

Her terrible insurance had now decided that suppressants were an ‘elective’ medication that omegas could function normally without. While Rey will support Senator Organa until she dies, she does wish that the senator hadn’t fought quite so hard to pass the legislation that ended the federal mandate that all omegas must be on suppressant unless mated.

It was a huge step in the country, one that Rey had even advocated for, but one with unforeseen consequences like insurances not covering the cost of suppressants anymore. But, such is life. This was the bed that had been made for her, and this is what she would deal with. People went without suppressants all the time; progressive omegas that clearly didn’t live in the same part of town she did, but omegas none the less.

Rey swept out of the bathroom, promptly tossing the empty bottle in the garbage, before turning to her roommate.

“I’ve decided something,” Rey announces.

Rose didn’t look up from the television, but responded anyways. “And what would that be?”

“I’ve decided to quit taking suppressants.” 

Rose chokes on the cheese balls she’s currently shoving into her face while looking up at Rey.

“You what?”

“I’m not taking suppressants anymore.”

“ _Why the hell not?_ ”

“I don’t need to. Omegas are individual, like every other designation and do not need to be medicated just to join society. Senator Organa advocated very hard to have the federal mandate repealed, and to show my support, I will no longer be taking suppressants.”

Rose looked at Rey like she was out of her mind, and she supposed she was. Betas like Rose would never fully understand what it was like for omegas or alphas, so Rey isn’t surprised that this information is shocking to her.

“Do you realize what this will do? Don’t unsuppressed omegas have like, three heats a year? You literally hate the singular one you have, _why_ would you choose that?” An excellent point that Rey had not considered.

“The heats suck, yes, but… maybe if I know I’ll be going through it more often, I’ll try a little harder at actually dating someone. Use it as a motivator, ya know.” The excuse didn’t sound nearly as bad as Rey thought it would, even if it was total horse shit. She also knew that Rose’s constant pushing for Rey to actually put herself out there would be placated by this answer.

“This seems like a pretty major change just so you can meet someone. Have you tried that one app that is supposed to help match up alphas and omegas? Knot It, I think it's called? That would be a more reasonable first step than… this.” The concern in Rose’s voice touches Rey and part of her is tempted to break down and tell her the truth. But then Rose would want to help her, being a best friend and all, and Rey would be put even further into emotional debt for all the helping she’s done over the years. She decides to hold steady to her little fib, hoping that Rose will just let it go. ( A pipe dream, to say the least.)

“I’m choosing this for right now. If it becomes… too much, I might change my mind. But I’m going to try this first. It’ll be good for me, I think.”

Rey ignores the unease in her friends gaze, and goes about her business.

* * *

The bar is crowded when Rey arrives at Maz’s. Some sports game is on that Rey would care about more if she could afford live TV to watch it continually, but cable wasn’t exactly a standard for someone who eats ramen for nearly every meal.

She see’s the large table in the back, the one that’s unofficially reserved for her friends, and notices she’s the last one there. A chorus of ‘hellos’ greet her as she slides into he booth, and is handed a plastic cup full of PBR.

“Rey-Rey! You made it! How’s our favorite mechanic?” Poe asks, clearly already a few too many deep.

“I’m good! Have you guys ordered yet? I’m starved.”

“I ordered a big ole’ hunk of qb with extra ass!” Poe screeches, looking up at the monitors, earning an eye roll from the sober people at the table, and giggles from the drunk ones.

“Buffalo wings and mozzarella sticks with extra marinara sauce,” Ben tells her. He’s across the table from her, but Rey is pretty sure that the calves she keeps bumping into are his. Ben’s damn long legs will always be a point of contention with her. Who needs to be 6”4 anyways? It’s just gratuitous. Still, she like the person they belong to.

“Bless you,” She tells Ben, earring a sweet smile and a hint of a blush. Ben is so easy to make blush; it's one of Reys’ favorite pastimes.

The night goes on; food is consumed in an ungodly amount of time, beer is constantly flowing, the rest of the bar dies down but they all remain. It’s nice, the little family they form. Rey would never had dared to dream of such a thing, but meeting these people was the greatest gift she’d been given. Rey met Finn the first semester of undergrad, and been a part of this group since. Through Finn, she met Rose, Kaydel, Jannah, and Poe, and through Poe she met Ben. Friday nights a Maz’s had become a staple for the last few years, one religiously followed even when they probably should have all stayed home.

While Rey loved being in this group of friends and partaking in their rituals, she had to admit to herself that it was… a lot. Without suppressants, at least. Smells were intense, to say the least. Every thing was heightened to the nth degree and Rey had spent the last three weeks without suppressants needed to excuse herself to get a breath of fresh air, too many times to count.

Everything smelled so, _so_ much, and Rey had to suffer through all of it.

But it wasn’t all bad. There was the occasional whiff of a fresh smelling laundromat, or sweet pastry that was nice to experience. And, of course, the juicy smelling alphas that usually came as quick as the went. Like right now, in the bar, Rey could smell the thick aroma of leather and pine mixed among the crowd. It was strong, even diluted by the scent of others, so she couldn’t imagine what it would be like on its own. The though made her clench her thighs together in hopes of something that would likely never come to pass.

“Rey… Rey? Are you with us?” Finn waved a hand in front of her face, snapping Rey out of her train of thought.”

“Oh sorry. I was just… distracted.” Rose ‘ _hrumps_ ’ next to her.

“We’re still on for Wednesday, right? Trivia night at Lukes?” Finn asks her.

“Yeah! Of course. I’ve been prepping for it by watching Jeopardy every night,” She tells them, earning a chuckle from Ben.

“Good. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t forget. You’ve been so spaced out lately,” He tells her, making Rey sink further into her seat.

“Probably because of the suppressants. Or… lack thereof,” Rose replies, causing every sober eye to turn and stare at her. AKA Finn and Ben.

“You stopped taking suppressants? Are you nuts?” Finn asks, incredulously.

“Thank you, _Rose_. And no, I’m not nuts. I’m just… choosing the natural life, so to speak.” She gives Rose a pointed glare, and tires to ignore the heated expression on Ben’s face. Finn is a beta, so his opinion will probably be a little off the mark, just like Roses.

  
But Ben is all alpha. Not just any alpha; no, Benjamin Solo was 100%, grade-A, total alpha who also happened to be the biggest sweetheart she’d ever met. It was a horrible concoction that had been the subject of one too many fantasies that Rey had shoved down in lieu of friendship.

Betas would have some idea what it meant for omegas to be off suppressants, but alphas? Alphas would bristle just at the thought of an unmated, unsuppressed omega, even if they smelled like a garbage disposal.

“So you want to revert back to a sex-crazed lunatic that thinks water is overrated?” Finn continues to question.

“I don’t think water is overrated even in heats. And I’ve already gone three weeks without and been fairly normal. I’m perfectly capable of handling myself without medication.” Rey keeps her expression calm and cool, but her eyes are steadfastly on her empty plate.

“Well… good for you, I guess?” Finn isn’t totally convinced and this will absolutely come up later, but he knows not to push his luck like this in public.

Rey gives a tight-lipped smile in response, still unable to meet Bens’ gaze, and is grateful for Poe for his loud interruption that he ‘will be a trophy husband to the first gay NFL quarterback’.

* * *

It’s not until they’re all standing outside the bar, in the chilly autumn air, that Rey realizes what’s wrong. She had felt Ben’s eyes on her the rest of the night, and it had taken every fiber in her being not to look at him. She knew what waited for her when she did and her inner omega wanted it too much to be a good thing.

But what’s wrong is not that Rey has to face Ben while they wait to load their drunk friends into Ubers. What’s wrong is the way he _smells_. If Rey wasn’t drunk of the beer, then she was drunk off of Ben. The hints of nice smelling alpha emanated from him, even through a cloud of scents. It was deep and rich and Rey wanted to _bathe_ in it.

She could also feel the displeasure he was feeling and it made Rey want to throw herself on the ground and beg alpha for forgiveness. She resisted, but only just.

When it was just them outside, Rey finally turned to face him, garnering any courage she could find.

“What is it?” She asked, aggressively, before she could loose her nerve.

“It isn’t safe,” Ben stated simply.

“What isn’t safe? Riding a bike without a helmet? Eating day-old sushi?” She retorted.

“ _Rey_.” It was a command, even if he didn’t mean to give it. “It isn’t safe to be unmated and unsuppressed. Especially…” He trailed off.

“Especially what?” She wishes her voice were harsher to express the anger she feel within.

Ben stares at her for a minute before responding. It makes her scent gland itch. “I could smell you. Through all those people, I could smell you. What happens if a knot-headed alpha is too close to rut and you’re alone-“”

“I’m an adult. I can take care of myself. Rape is still illegal, suppressed or not.”

Bens’ jaw clench and his hands ball into fist and Rey feels her core heat.

“I know you can take care of yourself.” It’s not what she expects to hear, and the softness of his voice breaks something inside of her. Her steely expression falls and so does his.

“You’re right, I know you’re right. But this is the way it is.”

“Why?”

Rey sighs, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes before telling him. “My shitty insurance got even shittier and no longer covers suppressants. My last refill ran out a few weeks ago, and with the way my student loans are right now, I can’t afford to buy them.”

She doesn’t need to see Ben to know the way he bristles. “This is because of my mom; because of the law she passed. It’s not fair to you that-”

“Your mother has been nothing but kind to me! She is a very sweet woman who I will always support and I get why she advocated for this. Yes, this sucks, but it’s not your mom’s fault.”

Ben isn’t placated by this, but keeps quiet.

They stay like that for a terse minute, Rey scrambling to figure out how to move on from this conversation. He speaks before she gets a chance.

“I can help you. I can get you suppressants if you want. It’s really no trouble. If anything, I kind of feel like I owe you.” Ben is sheepish when he speaks, and Rey’s heart swells a bit.

“That’s kind of you, but no thank you. I can handle this on my own.”

“You don’t have to, Rey.” His voice is low, but washes over her like a warm blanket nonetheless. “Just, please tell me if you need help. Promise me that.”

Rey doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to even say that she would rely on him if she needed to, out of her own selfish pride, but the omega in the back of her mind screams to, at least, make alpha feel better. She knows if she does, it will help.

“I promise.” Rey doesn’t know if she says that, or if her omega does.


	2. that breathes upon a bank of violets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It was… an awful abuse of friendship that would more than likely be refuted immediately and cause a riff in the friend group._
> 
> _But…_
> 
> _It was Ben. He would do this for her. He made her promise him, anyways. ___
> 
> __-_ _
> 
> __Rey holds up her end of the deal with Ben and asks him for help._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> threw in a lil spice with this chapter to show my gratitude for how wonderful u all are ໒( ♥ ◡ ♥ )७
> 
> (also i'm shit at getting back to comments, but just know i will totes respond to you all and i would also die for all my commenters and kudos-ers. now back to ur regularly scheduled ABO)

Ben glared down at his now empty plate, while another champagne flute was placed before him. His mother continued to prattle on about her latest endeavors in the senate, but Ben was having a hard time focusing. He knew he should be listing to his mother; after everything he put her through, it was the least he could do, but his mind was elsewhere. Someplace not too far away, probably just waking up in a ratty old band t-shirt, smelling like all the good things in this world.

“… Then he told me that I was only four votes down when I actually thought I was three votes ahead, so if he hadn’t tried to make a pompous ass of himself, he probably would have won- Benjamin? Hello? Are you with me?” Leia waves a hand in front of his face, snapping him from a train of thought that was not suitable for Sunday brunch with his mother.

“What? Oh, sorry. You were talking about Senator Sion, I think?” Ben says. Leia side-eyes him, taking a sip of her mimosa.

“You’ve been distracted all morning and keep staring at me like you want to throw your eggs at my face. What’s going on?” She asks, motherly concern coloring her voice. Ben sighs, knowing that lying will only come back to bite him in the ass.

“You fought to end the suppressant mandate on omegas, what, a few months ago?” He asks, already knowing the answer.

“This is about politics?” She questions, giving him a disbelieving look.

“You realize that now insurance doesn’t have to cover suppressant coverage any more because of this, right?”

Leia sighs. “We knew it would be a side affect, that the lesser organizations would use it to capitalize off diminishing coverage. We weighed the risk and rewards and felt that it was still worth fighting for. We’re working with Planned Parenthood to be able to distribute suppressants to omegas who still want it, but it’s a war. Victories don’t always come easy.” Leia explains. Ben runs a hand through his hair.

“You don’t think the risk outweighs the reward? Omegas have a hard time getting good jobs with decent insurance, as is. If they can’t afford suppressants, it just makes their life harder.”

“All of this and more has been discussed with various political advisors who know quite a bit more than alphas like you and I, Ben. We made out decision on what to support. It would be hypocritical for us to tout that alphas don’t need to be on blockers but measly little omegas need suppressants. If you wanted to fight about political derivatives, we should have met in my office. No cutlery to throw at each other there,” She huffs.

When Ben stays silent, not knowing how to continue this conversation without turning it into a fight, Leia concedes.

“Did something happen? Do you know someone…?” She asks. Ben nods. “Who?”

“Rey,” He admits. Leia’s eyes go wide in understanding and she relaxes in her seat, inwardly pleased that she finally understands what’s going on.

“Rey is off suppressants because her insurance stopped covering them and now you having harder time concealing your feelings.” Bens’ eyes snapped up to his mother, before he began sputtering retorts.

“What are you- I don’t know- That’s not even, What? I don’t have feelings for Rey! It’s just… a problem and I know that I’m indirectly a cause of that and I feel bad. But not because I’m… I have… nothing. I feel bad for her, is all.” Leia just quietly laughed to herself, only fueling Bens’ discomfort.

“Oh, please, Ben! I used to have to beg you just to know your friends name. You and Tai were friends for six years before I even knew he existed! Then, you meet Rey and introduce her to me after a _week_ of knowing her. A week, Ben!” Leia says.

Ben just continues to mutter intelligible things under his breath.

“It’s okay for you to like her, Ben. I’d be worried if you didn’t. She’s a great girl. The whole family loves her.” Leia’s attempts to comfort her son serve only to embarrass him further. Like Ben didn’t already have the less-than-inconspicuous seal of approval from Grandma Padmé, and the constant jibes from Uncle Luke about how Rey ‘balances’ Ben out’. He hates that he loves it so much. That he needs it at all.

“If I… If I say anything to her now, she’ll think it’s just because she’s not on suppressants. She’ll think of me as just another knot-driven alpha who forgot to take his blockers.” Ben’s quiet admission sobers his mother up for a moment.

“You’ll just have to convince her otherwise,” Leia presses, earning a humorless chuckle from Ben.

“And how do I do that? I’m not exactly the most eloquent when it comes to women…. or people in general, really.” His mother snorts.

“You think I don’t know that?”

He narrows his eyes, and Leia puts her hands up in surrender.

“You’ll just have to… be there. For her. Whatever she needs. That’s the best place to start.”

* * *

When the number flashes across Rey’s screen, she knows it means trouble. Because she hasn’t had enough of that lately, evidently.

_Inspection today._

_During normal work hours?_

_No. After._

_Inspections take a lot of time. I can’t stay that late tonight._

_No other option. Feel free to quit._

Rey feels her insides boil. Her boss, Plutt knows her situation (despite her many attempts to keep it from him) and knows that quitting isn’t an option. Her fist balls as the thinks of what ‘inspections’ entails.

Any normal work place witha proper Human Resources department would call it an employee evaluation, but not Plutt. No, his ‘inspection’ consist of going through all of the work Rey has done over the last few months, noting only the complaints of vehicle not properly fixed, unsatisfied customers who didn’t like that an omega was working on their stuff, and Plutt’s continued harassment of her character. It would break any normal person, even people stronger than she; but Rey wouldn’t be brought down by Trumps’ broke doppelgänger.

Rey wanted to quit, and she had typed up a two-week-notice more than once, but its not like she could easily find another job. An omega mechanic, with debt up to her ears, in the wrong part of the city wasn’t the most attractive to potential employers, and going without a job wasn’t an option. So she would endure the likely horrific forty minute attack on her person with a straight face, then treat herself to some of the half-priced sushi from the drugstore around the corner.

The most daunting of all this was the fact that she would be in Plutts’ office, alone, well into the evening. He’d never tried anything on her, but he did tout his alpha status around enough that he was very aware she was an omega.

And now, an omega without suppressants.

Rey thought of the pheromone sprays that she could take a few test sprays of, trying to put an alpha scent on her that would clog up the room and make Plutt want her out of there as soon as possible. But alpha sprays were hard to come by and usually did a piss-poor job of convincing others it was real. Only a real alpha scent would do the trick, and Rey’s lack of a love life gave her limited options.

Except, of course, for Ben.

His rich, thick, melt-in-you-mouth, alpha scent that could bring back an omega from the brink of death would be perfect. If it made Rey feel like she was wrapped up in a warm blanket for the rest of the day, that was just an added bonus.

But it’s not like she could ask Ben to do that. It was… an awful abuse of friendship that would more than likely be refuted immediately and cause a riff in the friend group.

But…

It was Ben. He would do this for her. He made her promise him, anyways. She texts him before she looses her nerve.

_i have a favor to ask_

_Shoot._

_it’s a big favor_

_…shoot?_

_you can say no if you want_

_i’d understand_

_Is everything okay? Are you in trouble?_

_Not trouble, per se, but a predicament_

_Rey, I’m worried. What’s going on?_

_u remember my boss Plutt? he wants to have an_

_inspection with me tonight and i’d be alone with him._

_he’s an alpha and…_

_u know my situation_

_I’ll come stay with you during this inspection._

_no, i don’t think that’d go well_

_Plutt can be… territorial_

_sometimes he’ll find a reason to refuse_

_service to an alpha_

_i don’t want him to hurt u_

_I’d rather he try and hurt me than hurt you._

_I’ll be with you._

_I will also help you look for a better job_

_with a better employer._

_i appreciate you for offering to do that,_

_but i have an idea that could be better_

_and less likely to get us hurt_

_You quitting?_

_no_

_i think u should scent me_

_Um._

_What?_

_scent me._

_surely you’ve scented someone before_

_I know what scenting someone is._

_It’s just…_

_a little intimate._

_For people who aren’t dating._

_yeah but we’ve know each other forever_

_i think it will be fine_

_that way i’d have your scent all over me at work_

_and Plutt will think i stink and cut the meeting short_

_that way he won’t try to hurt u and he_

_won’t try anything at the inspection!_

_its a win win_

_in my opinion_

_But you’d be covered in my scent._

_yes benjamin that is precisely the point_

_You would have to smell me on you._

_We would have to do this before_

_you went into work and you’d smell like me_

_until you could bathe._

_i feel like ur not getting why im asking u_

_i WANT to smell like you_

_I don’t know if this is a good idea._

_it is!_

_i’ll be able to keep my job and ward_

_off my creepy boss_

_don’t not do it because of me_

_if you don’t want to do it, i understand_

_but don’t say no because ur worried about me_

_i meant what i said when i told you i can take_

_care of myself_

_And I meant what I said when I_

_told you to ask me for help._

_I just kind of assumed it would be for_

_literally anything else._

_well_

_this is what im asking_

_Okay._

_I’ll do it._

* * *

Reys’ palms were sweaty as she rode in the elevator up to Ben’s apartment. Part of her wanted to believe that she was nervous because she was dressed in greasy overalls that were two sizes too big for her, yet inside of a building where the median income was upwards ofseven figures. It had a fucking _bellman_. With _gloves_.

She’d been here before, many times, but never on her way to work and never in anything less than her fanciest clothes. Rey knows Ben makes a lot of money, hotshot lawyer and all, and that he comes from money. But being inside of this building reminds her just what a difference of worlds they come from. And also that she’s asked someone who can afford to live here to do something a little scandalous.

It’s not that she was nervous about smelling like him; that part she was looking forward to. It’s the actual act of scenting. Ben wasn’t editorializing when he said it was intimate. Scenting was a step down from a make out session, but not by much. Rey wishes the thought of doing this with Ben didn’t send a fresh wave of slick between her thighs. He would be able to smell her. He would never say anything, never want to embarrass her that way, but he would know.

She tries not to think of that when she knocks on his door. It swings open moments later, to a frazzled looking Ben. He’s dressed for work, fancy slacks and crisp button down, and the stark reminder rings in her head again. She is also assaulted by how _good_ he smells. It takes her a minute before she can speak.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” They stand in the doorway for an awkward second before Ben realizes he’s taking up the whole doorway and moves to let her in. Rey walks inside, instantly putting her ratty backpack on the ground by his couch. They say nothing to each other, just stare, waiting for the other to speak.

“This is weird,” Rey states. Not that it needs stating. “I feel bad, now. For having asked you. I shouldn’t have put this on you.” She sees him take a gulp before talking.

“I told you I’d help you if you needed it,” He reminds her.

“I don’t think you had this in mind when you offered.”

“Not really. But I offered, so I’ll help. On one condition.” Rey cocks her head, narrowing her eyes at him.

“What?”

“The _minute_ you find another job, a _better_ job, you will leave this one. The minute, Rey.”

It’s not what she was expecting him to say. But he wouldn’t be Ben if he did everything she suspects. She’s also not suspecting him to give such a command. A real one, alpha voice and all. It makes her shiver.

“I will,” She squeaks out, unable to say anything else.

“Good.” His posture relaxes a bit and the wave of anger she felt the beginnings of, go away. They’re left standing together, silently. “So… how do you want to do this?” Ben asks.

“Um… I just figured we could hug? For like, a while. Being in you space is good because your scent will stick to my clothes too, so it doesn’t have to get so… touchy, if you don’t want.”

His jaw works.

“You think hugging will suffice?”

Rey shrugs.

“Its better than nothing. I don’t want to make you more uncomfortable than I already have.”

“If we’re going to do this, I think we should be through. I don’t want you to have to go through this for nothing.”

Rey wants to say that just being able to smell him at all is reward enough, but there wasn’t time for _that_ discussion.

“Okay… so I’ll just…” She points to the barstool at his kitchen island, walks over to it and sits down. “If I’m on your things, it’s better. Sticks more.” She doesn’t know if its creeks in the building or a very low whine that Ben emits, but she ignores it.

He walks over to her, now seated on the stool, looking her up and down. Rey feels like she’s being appraised and _really_ regrets her decision not to have washed her work clothes before coming over. His gaze is hot, and Rey thinks she’s panting harder with every step he makes towards her.

“You’ll tell me if it’s too much. You’ll tell me to stop if you need me to.” Ben is between her legs now, having opened on the own volition. Rey manages to nod, and that’s enough for Ben. His hand comes to cup her jaw, and she instinctively leans into it. Her head lolls to the side, in his palm, as his face comes down to her neck. His nose rubs along her jaw, and she can feel his lips as they skirt along her pulse point. His other hand rest on the counter behind her, effectively trapping her in.

Rey feels like putty. Ben’s scent is strong from across the room, but in her personal space? It’s suffocating. Her eyes close as she focuses all her attention on the way she can feel his stubble scrape along the sensitive skin of her under-jaw, and feels the faint pressure of his nose passing along her scent glands. He works himself slowly, leaving no skin untraced, before moving to the other side. He maneuvers her head to his other hand, before mirroring the same position they were in just a moment ago. She is glad she choose to sit; her knees would be useless.

His movements become more sure, tracing harder, and making Rey let out the most pathetic whimper she’s ever heard. Embarrassment instantly floods over her body, but before she can apologize, Ben _growls_. Literally _growls_.

Suddenly his body is flush with hers, her thighs resting on the side of his hips. She feels his hand that isn’t holding her head move to grip her waist, digging his fingertips into the jean material covering her. She doesn’t realize her hands have worked their way to his abdominal muscles until she feels her hands tightly wind his shirt.

His mouth traces along her scent glands, opening slightly, and she can feel his heavy breath on her skin. The first trace of his tongue on her glands makes Rey cry out, and involuntarily cant her hips into his. She feels his tongue, slick and hot, licking her then. Lavishing her glands in his saliva that made her head spin. Her heart beat was pounding, her ears rushing with blood. She could feel every part of him, his tongue, his hands, his lips, his hips. The growing hardness in his pants was pressed into her stomach as his hips rocked slightly in time with hers.

When Rey snaps back into reality, she sees where this is going. And even though it physically pains her to stop him, she knows she has to.

“Ben…” She whispers, his mouth still moving against her skin. “Ben,” She tries, voice a little surer now. He emits a low whine, making her stomach clench. Rey weaves her hand onto the side of his face before calling out again. “ _Ben_.”

He stills then, body still flush against her, but mouth closed. She felt him pull back, not removing his hands, only lifting his torso so that they were looking at each other. His pupils are blown wide open, black covering the usual honeyed brown. His chest is heaving with his breath, and his mouth is slightly parted as he sucks in air.

Rey feels something cool along her chin and realizes she’s been drooling, sliver running down her mouth in a thoroughly undignified manner. Her fingers quickly go to wipe it away and rub it into her clothes, but Ben takes her hand, covered in drool and sticks it into his mouth.

His eyes close as she feels his tongue suck of any of the cool wetness, replacing it with saliva of his own. Rey keens and clenches her core. His tongue works around each digit, encircling all her fingers with his tongue. When Ben finishes his assault, he pulls her hand out of his mouth, but keeps it against his lips. His eyes are still closed as she feels the air from his nose one the wet surface of her hand.

Rey doesn’t dare move. She couldn’t if she wanted to. Ben is all around her, still between her legs, and she knows movement will mean brushing against the thickness she felt in his pants. A tickling sensation in her spine tells her that she doesn’t want to move. That beside this alpha is where she belongs and where she’ll be happy and where alpha will provide and-

It’s a lot.

“Let me walk you to work.” Bens’ words are low, and send vibrations through her hand as he speaks, eyes still shut.

“What?” Rey is still a little breathless, but shock colors her voice.

“I don’t think… I’m having a hard time… I can’t _not_ be around you, right now. If I let you leave right now…” She feels the shiver that runs down his spine, “It wouldn’t be good. Especially since I know where you’re going.”

Rey can’t speak. She knew that alphas had a hard time letting go of omegas, even just for a few hours, but she’d always assumed that was for people who were mated. Not them, not after one scenting session, intensity notwithstanding. Rey gulps as she tries to find her voice.

“Okay… but we’ll stop a block away from the shop. I don’t want you to get into a territory fight with Plutt. I couldn’t…” _bare to watch you get hurt. And I’m afraid I’d like it too much if you hurt him._

“Don’t say another alphas name, right now… _please_.” His voice is pained and she can see the clenching in his jaw. She mumbles sorry’s as her thumb begins to trace his strong chin.

When his eyes slowly reopen, they’re back to normal, the warm tones causing Rey to release a sigh of relief. They slowly detangle, and Rey tries to pretend she doesn’t see the bulge still in his crotch, and hopes that he couldn’t tell just how slick she had gotten. Rey excuses herself to the bathroom to clean up and give each of them a minute to collect themselves.

She tries to wipe up the slick that ruined her underwear before splashing cool water on her still reddened cheeks. When she exits the bathroom, Ben is still close. It must be apart of the alpha sensation, being unable to part with their mate after being so… intimate. It warms parts of Rey that she didn’t even know existed.

They are silent nearly the whole way there, but Ben is right next to her the whole way. He is never more than a breath away from Rey, unintentionally shielding her from the others they pass along the way. She can still feel him, the confusing mix of pheromones he’s giving off. There is only one she recognizes above all else: arousal.

She knows they’re a block away from work, not by the street corner, but the way Bens’ head snaps up when even the hint of Plutt makes itself known. After spending the whole morning inundated with Bens’ delicious smell, it nearly makes Rey retch. She feels Ben still at the opening of an alleyway and her body stops without her control. She looks back up at him, seeing the steely way his eyes rake over the street. He is unhappy and she doesn’t like it.

“What’s wrong?” She asks.

“You shouldn’t work here. It’s a bad place. I don’t want you here.” She knows its his alpha talking. That Ben wouldn’t be this controlling, overbearing man, but it makes her mad nonetheless.

“You can’t control where I work, Ben. I’m sorry you don’t like it, but it’s my choice. Now, thank you for… doing what you did, but I can handle it from here.” Rey goes to walk off, but Ben stops her. His hand comes out to grip hers, not in a tight, jerking way, but in a soft way that that makes it hard to refuse.

“I’m sorry… you’re right.” His eyes are downcast, but he keeps his hand on hers. She feels a little guilty for snapping at him; after all, she’s the reason he’s experiencing these emotions.

“It’s okay… I’m sorry, too.”

They stand there for a moment, knowing that this is making them both late, but neither of them having the heart to move.

“We have to go to work now,” Rey says quietly. Ben nods. “Can I… talk to you, later?” She asks.

“Of course,” He breathes. Rey lets their hands drop and goes to turn to work, but Ben calls out for her.

“Rey, please be safe. I need you to be safe.”

Rey should be more used to his intensity by now, but it still makes her shiver.

“I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi on [tumblr](https://ehstarwar.tumblr.com) or [twitter!](https://twitter.com/ehstarwar)


	3. this tiger-footed rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _He would be just gentle enough that nothing hurt, but firm enough that she felt it. Every touch, every stroke; he would make her feel it all, make her delirious with it._
> 
> _Yes, letting herself fantasize about Ben is all too easy. ___
> 
> __-_ _
> 
> __Rey tries not to think about what's making her so frustrated and irritable. Ben knows exactly why. Also, Leia meddles._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> our space babies are back at it again with their BIE. (Big Idiot Energy). enjoy (´∀｀)

_It’s as easy as breathing_ , Rey thinks. Imagining him, large and imposing, all hard plains and thick muscle, nudged between her thighs. All around her. Consuming her. She imagine what his hands would feel like. Would the trace her, lightly and teasingly, or ding into her skin and mar her for all the world to see. And his legs; strong enough to hold her up, to carry her around without so much as a strain.

He would be just gentle enough that nothing hurt, but firm enough that she felt it. Every touch, every stroke; Ben would make her feel it all, make her delirious with it.

Yes, letting herself fantasize about Ben is all too easy. Made even easier by her fingers currently pushing into her sopping wet cunt.

It should be embarrassing, how many times over the last few days that Rey has gotten off to imagining Ben. She’d had to stop herself from going into the employee bathroom and shoving a hand between her thighs the day he scented her; the smell of an omega that just came would outweigh the scent of an alpha and she’d be in an even worse situation. Rey had dutifully waited until after work, after the inspection, after she took two trains back home, before collapsing in a heap on her bed and getting herself off to Bens’ scent within two minutes.

And that was only the _start_ of the evening.

Rey had refused to shower that night, trying to keep a hold of every molecule of scent Ben had given her, but come morning, she had to wash herself. She totally didn’t cry in the shower, rubbing one out to the last remanence of Ben washing down her drain. The wetness coming down her face was only from the shower.

She though that when his scent was no longer clinging to her person that she may finally get some relief from the near constant arousal, but it only made it worse. Now, the comforting scent of a big, virile alpha wasn’t consuming her, it made her _desperate_.

Which is the state Rey was in right now; hand pushing in and out of her, wanting to find a release that is never quite satisfying enough.

Twenty minutes of trying to get herself off before the evening was proving frustrating instead of relieving, causing Rey to scream into her pillow before removing her hand from her cunt and getting into the shower. She definitely did _not_ sneak a smell at her overalls from the other day, just to see if there was anything left.

Rose was hurrying around the apartment when Rey walked out of the bathroom, still unsatisfied and a little more than irritable.

“What the hell, Rose?” Nearly every kitchen cabinet was opened, and a small pile of different kitchen items were being shoved into reusable plastic bags.

“Finn wants to bake a pie for tonight, but like, has nothing that he needs if he wants to make a pie,” Rose explains, stuffing multiple pans that were decidedly unnecessary to make a pie.

“Is he making a pie for a small third world county?” Rey huffs. Rose stills, a box of graham crackers falling to the counter below her.

“Are you feeling okay?” Rose asks, giving Rey a once-over.

“Yes… why?”

“You sounded a little upset that we’re making pie. Pie, Rey. You once said you’d give your left tit just to eat pie every day.”

Rey bristles, feeling much more defensive than a statement like this should make her.

“Its just… You’re taking quite a bit of stuff from our kitchen to make this. What if we don’t get it all back?” This only makes Roses’ gaze harden.

“It’s for Finn. We basically share everything with him. And I know for a fact that you two shared a toothbrush for four months in college because neither of you could be bothered to buy a new one. What’s going on?”

Rey is still wrapped up in a towel, dripping onto the linoleum floor. Her fist is clenched, holding her towel so tight to her person that she knows there will be red marks on her skin. She tries to figure out why she’s feeling this way, why she cares at all. Rey doesn’t get territorial like this, ever, especially with Finn. She’s just as curious as Rose is to figure out why she’s acting like this, but is too proud to concede.

“Nothing is going on. I don’t care if you take that stuff to Finn’s, just… make sure we get it back. That’s the only strainer that I’ve ever liked and I just want to make sure its near if I need it. Rose has her eyes narrowed at Rey, and looks like she wants to prod further, but Rey doesn’t give her the opportunity.

“I’ll see you at Luke’s!” She shouts over her shoulder on her way back to her room.

* * *

The commute to Luke’s isn’t too bad. Rey has to take two trains and walk four blocks to get there, but his part of town isn’t too bad. Rey’s side is a different story, but that’s a worry for later tonight. Her irritability hasn’t completely worn off when she leaves her apartment, but she figures some fresh air will do her good.

Or, it would be good if she could actually enjoy it. Problem is, she’s _itchy_.

Not in the ‘ _I’m covered in poison ivy_ ’ or ‘ _I have a bad case of the chicken pox_ ’ way, but in the ‘ _my skin feels too tight and I’m ready to peel it off my body_ ’ kind of way. It doesn’t help that her glands are throbbing. Any brush of material over them sends a shiver down her spine, but it’s too cold and impolite to go out in public naked with pulsing, red glands.

It’s the suppressants working their way out of her system, probably. In her limited research on what to expect when detoxing, Rey discovered gland discomfort was fairly common, but it usually happened within a few days of stopping. It’d been a few weeks for her. But it was probably nothing.

Probably.

All this discomfort was unpleasant, to say the least, but it was at least distracting Rey from the worrying-session she would be having about seeing Ben tonight. Rey had texted him when she’d gotten home the other night. A quick ‘hi i’m alive. thanks for today. see you around.’ before promptly blocking his number so that she wouldn’t be tempted to call him and ask him to fuck her nine ways to Sunday.

Maybe it was too far, but Rey was still a little jaded from the experience and didn’t trust herself to fuck it up even further. Best to just forget the whole thing ever happened and move on with their respective lives and try very hard to think of literally anything else but Ben when she masturbates. Totally fine.

It’s a good plan… well, it’s at least a plan. And one that seems to be totally fine and likely to work, until she opens the door to Luke’s townhouse.

On their normal trivia night, it’s just her small group of friends playing trivia games being moderated by Luke who seems to know the answer to every question. Theres a few drinks, some snacks, and maybe a joint or two.

There is not the entirety of the Organa-Solo-Skywalker clan and a buffet table that looks like something out of a Thanksgiving issue of Better Homes & Garden.

This will not be their normal trivia night, Rey realizes with a deep sigh.

“Oh Rey! You came! I’m so happy to see you!” Senator Organa grasps Rey in a bear hug before she can even make it entirely through the threshold. Rey is shocked, but leans into the hug once she realizes what’s happening.

“Senator, it’s been so long.” The older woman tuts while pulling back, arms still holding onto Rey’s shoulder.

“Oh please, Rey, what will it take for you to call me Leia instead of stuffy ‘Senator Organa’?” She asks.

“It’s… what’s proper?” Rey raises her shoulders in a shrug.

“My wife? Proper? Ha!” Han shouts, over-exaggeratedly slapping his knee. “That’s a good one, kid.” Rey smiles sheepishly as the Senator slaps her husband’s chest. From the corner of her eye, she sees a seated figure, with perfect posture and even more perfect clothes.

“Grandma Padmé!” Rey says, before moving between them to hug her. Grandam Padmé opens her arms wide as Rey leans down to hug her. Even in old age, she feels strong beneath Rey’s body. It’s comforting in a way that Rey isn’t used to, but loves all the same. When she pulls back, Padmé cups her cheek with a thin hand.

“My goodness, Rey, you look lovelier every time I see you,” She says, making Rey grin even harder.

“Thank you. How is Naboo?” She asks.

“Well, I think it’s beautiful this time of year, but I think it’s beautiful there any time of year, really,” She laughs. “You’ll have to come visit me this winter. Maybe you can drag my wayward grandson along with you.” Padmé gestures her head to the corner, where Ben is standing.

When Rey sees him, leaning on the bookshelf, shoulders hunched like he’s trying to make himself smaller, she has the urge to run to him and shove her face into his broad chest. While Rey could never forget just how big Ben is, it’s still shocking every time she sees him.

“Rey doesn’t like the cold, Grandma.” _God_. His voice. 

Rey wants to say that she would literally follow Ben to the ends of the galaxy if he asked her to follow, so going to his grandmothers estate wouldn’t be an imposition whatsoever. But that’s not conducive to the situation they’re in, so Rey goes for something a little more vague.

“I’d love to come and visit you, someday, hopefully,” Rey says, turning back to Padmé.

“Very soon, hopefully,” Rey doesn’t miss the glint in Padmé’s eyes, “Not many years left in these old bones.”

“Geez, Mom,” Luke says, walking to the living room from the kitchen, “Don’t talk like that. Hey, Rey, will you help me with the sink; it’s all leaky again.” Luke was a brilliant man, with many wonderful qualities, but his ability to break a house like it was a china plate was unprecedented.

“Of course, do you have a wrench-”  
  
“She’s a guest here. She shouldn’t be put to work.” Bens’ voice is practically a growl and Rey can feel the displeasure radiating off of him. The rest of his family stays silent, all looking towards a glowering Ben. His glare is firmly set on Luke, and she thinks she might see literal fire coming out of his eyes.

“It’s really no problem, it’s an easy fix. Won’t take very long at all.” Rey tries to cut the tension, but Ben doesn’t seem eased by this. “It’s really no problem, Ben,” She says to him. Only then does he look at her, mouth still pressed in a thin line.

“Why don’t you go get her the wrench, Ben. I think Luke’s got one in the cellar. We can look together.” Senator Organa is not at all who Rey thinks is going to step up to the plate, but she does it anyways. Ben mumbles a few terse ‘ _fines_ ’ before following his mother down the hallway.

Ben looks at Rey the whole way.

* * *

“How do you know where a wrench is in Luke’s house?” Ben asks his mother as they go down the stairs.

“I don’t,” She calls back. Ben stops at the bottom step, giving his mother a confused look.

“Then why did you-”

“I figured you’d need a minute. I mean, I’m mated and all that but _geez_ , Rey’s scent was strong. I’m honestly surprised you’re even able to stand upright with that walking around. The betas can probably smell her from-“”

“Mom, can we please… _not_ do this right now?” Ben pleads, letting his face drop into his hands.

“That was a pretty big display of ‘alpha prowess’ you showed back there. I don’t think we can _not_ do this and make it through the rest of the night.”

“You didn’t tell me what you’re doing here tonight. Maybe we should discuss that first.” Leia shrugs.

“Mom wanted to see you, and I know you all have trivia every other Wednesday, so I figured we’d drop by.”

“Uh-huh. And the catered meal that you managed to have delivered two whole hours before anyone showed up; that was easy to get on short notice?” They’re in a glaring match now, both too stubborn to back down.

“I work quickly, Ben. Clearly unlike you, who can’t even tell a girl how he feels after years. Do you honestly think this is healthy? For you? For your friendship? You can’t go all alpha on people every time they suggest your omega goes to a different room.”

“She’s not my omega.” Each word feels like ash coming from his mouth.

“And who’s fault is that? Luke and his leaky sink?” For such a short woman, Leia is able to show a disturbing amount of confidence and control, something Ben has yet to master. It makes the words even harder to hear sometimes, like right now. Ben winces before running a hand through his already disheveled hair.

“I’m working on it. It’s just… difficult.”

Leia softens at this, and seems to remember that she’s fighting her son and not another political enemy. She walks towards him, brushing the hair out of his eyes.

“I know it is, honey. But I promise you, you’ll feel better once you tell her how you feel, no matter the outcome.” Leia’s voice is soft and gentle, and Ben is reminded of being a teenager and his mother comforting him when he was too scared to ask a girl to prom.

“I don’t know that that’s true,” he chuckles humorlessly.

* * *

By the time Ben and Leia rejoin the group upstairs, Rey has already fixed the sink with her bare hands (because of course she’s stronger than any measly tool) and is currently stuffing her face with pigs in a blanket. Ben wishes that he didn't find the pastry puff crumbs already lining her shirt so stinking cute.

“I just don’t see how you can go from making a pie to making beanie weenies,” She says, mouth half full. When she realizes that Leia is in the room with her, she snaps her jaw just and brushes off the crumbs. “Do you want some?” Rey extends the plate towards them, even though Ben knows that she will be more than able to eat the whole thing herself.

“No, we’re good,” Ben says before Leia can speak and take one away from Rey. They lock eyes for a moment, and Ben gets caught up in the flecks of gold around her irises. It’s better that they’re around other people right now, because if they were alone Ben wouldn’t trust himself not to cross over to her and hold her face so he can get a better look at them.

Leia elbows his stomach and mutters ‘ _get a grip_.’

* * *

“What is Scotts?”

_Buzzer_.

“Poe.”

“What is Tudor?”

“Yes. Pick a category.”

“Ugh, 1990’s for 600.”

“A 1990-91 war in the Middle East was fought in Iraq and this oil-rich nation.”

“Iran?”

Luke gave a pointed stare at Rose.

“… What is Iran?”

_Buzzer_.

This had been much the same interaction for the last hour. Everyone participating, even Grandma Padmé. The questions were hard, which wasn’t wholly unusual for Luke, but it made Ben struggle that much more to actually pay attention. Ben easily dominated the board most trivia nights, but his heart wasn’t in it tonight.

No, tonight, Bens’ heart was in an entirely different place all together.

Said place was picking at her fingernails, not even bothering to pick up the handheld device. Rey was just behind him in winnings, but it seemed that even the second champion was struggling to keep up.

Ben knew that he wasn’t being inconspicuous like this; staring at Rey so hard that he’s surprised his eyes still worked. His whole body was inclined towards her, not the center podium everyone else was facing. Ben could swivel around, actually use he device handed out earlier and answer the damn question everyone seemed to be avoiding, but he just didn’t have it in him. Not when Rey was there, barely six feet away from him, smelling like _that_.

Like cinnamon rolls and clean linen and sunshine and sex and daisies and babies and home and-

Oh shit.

_Heat_. Ben realized. Rey was going into heat and she was sitting six feet away from him. In a house with many other people. People who would not appreciate a Sasquatch jumping across the living room couch to sweep Rey into his arms and take her to the guest room and fuck her very loudly for a whole week.

This whole charade got that much harder to endure.

Ben doesn’t realize he’s standing until he feels the gaze of everyone on him, looking confused as to his dramatic rise.

“I’m… going to the bathroom,” Ben announces to the group, before stalking off towards the kitchen. Ben made route to the furthers part of the townhouse, where Luke’s master bedroom was and very spacious master bath. Ben honestly didn’t care if he was waling into a room filled with creepy porcelain dolls, he just needed to get away for a minute and try not to think about Rey.

Rey.

Who he had scented exactly 76 hours ago.

Who he had jerked off to probably more times than that in the following days.

Who he was probably in love with.

Who he wanted to marry and mate and fill with his pups and build a house for and live happily ever after with.

Rey, who was going into heat.

Ben defiantly didn’t need to be thinking about that.

He stood at the vanity, knuckles white against the marble countertop as he stared at himself. If it weren’t for his distinguishable ears, that stuck out despite his best attempts at covering them with his hair, Ben wouldn’t have recognized himself.

His eyes were bloodshot. Skin flushed. Lips bitten so roughly the were swollen. In short, a mess.

A light tap on the door, brought him out of his self-deprecation as he dropped his head and sighed.

“Ben?” He hears Rey ask. Ben resist the urge to punch the mirror or the countertop, knowing that it could only end with him being more battered. When he didn’t respond, Rey spoke again. “Can I come in.”

_No_ , he should say. _No, get as far away from me as humanly possible because there is no way I can control myself around you without restraints of some sort_.

After another minute of silence, Rey opens the door. Ben looks back up into the mirror, seeing Rey over his shoulder.

“Are you alright?” She asks, voice quiet. It breaks his heart a little to hear her so timid.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.” Her voice is a little more sure this time. Ben quickly turns around to face Rey. It is a horrible time for him to be made acutely aware of just how small she is compared to him. But he is aware of it, all the same.

When Ben opens his mouth to speak, he’s met with a thick cloud of pheromones entering his body. It’s like getting body slammed by a sumo wrestler without knowing what the fuck is going on.

“You’re not fine. Please, tell me what’s going on, Ben.” The whine he emits when she says his name is involuntary and embarrassing, but Ben can’t think about that right now.

“You’re going into heat.” He says it through clenched teeth, eyes clamped shut.

“What?” She asks in disbelief. “I’m not going into heat. I’d know if I was going into heat.”

“Rey,” Her name feels heavy in his mouth, “You _are_ going into heat. You don’t know how you smell.” Ben dares to open his eyes to look at her. Reys’ face goes from confusion to sadness and it makes Ben ache.

“Oh… I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how bad I smelled.”

Bens’ jaw drops.

“What?” She asks, seeing his expression.

“You think you smell _bad_?” Ben sees a flash of anger across her features.

“Well, I’m sorry for however awful I smell! I can’t tell, ya know. You could’ve been a little nicer about it, instead of running off because you couldn’t stand the smell of me!”

Ben is frozen in shock for a minute before Rey turns to leave, but snaps out of it when she reaches the door.

“Rey.” She stills, hand on the doorknob. “You don’t smell bad. You very much do not smell bad. Rey, I’ve never met anyone who smelled as amazing as you. It’s like.. like the most delicious smell I’ve ever encountered. Like warmth and love and babies and home and… I can’t handle it well. You smell so fucking good, Rey. Letting you go that day was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life, and if you asked me to do that again, I honestly think I would loose my mind. If I can smell you and be as close to you as I was then without being able to keep you next to me, I wouldn’t survive. You don’t smell bad, Rey. You smell like everything I’ve ever loved.”

Her back is still turned to Ben, but she’s made no movement. Ben wants to spin her around and force her to say something, just so he can know what she’s thinking, but that turns out to be unnecessary. When she finally does turn around, there are tears just staring to spill over the corners of her eyes and her lips are quivering.

“You think I smell like home?” Her voice is shaky with emotion, and Ben can’t hold back anymore. Not when he sees his omega like this.

Ben closes the distance between them, enveloping Rey with his body. One hand goes to cradle the back of her head while the other snakes its way around her waist. He tucks his head into her neck, making him squat down. He feels Rey’s knees give out, and he guides her down to the floor, gently, resting between his legs. Her hands are tightly wrapped around his torso, holding not him just as he holds onto her.

“Yes, Rey. So good, it hurts,” he whispers into her ear. She holds onto his chest, quietly crying against him. His hindbrain is going awol trying to figure out how best to comfort her while his realistic brain was trying to figure out how far she would be okay with him going. He figures kisses to her hair won’t be a stretch, so he peppers kisses along her hairline, holding her head between his hands.

They stay like that for god knows how long, until his butt aches from he hard tile on the floor. Not that he would dare tell Rey that. He’s sit his bony ass on concrete for days if it meant being next to her. When the sniffling subsides and Rey uses his shirt to dry her eyes, she looks up at him.

Ben wishes he could map the constellation of freckles across her nose with his tongue. He barely refrains from doing so.

“I’m sorry… I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My emotions are all over the place.”

“It’s the heat,” Ben reminds her.

“How do you know, though? I didn’t even know, and normally I’m pretty good about guessing that kind of thing.”

“Have you ever had a heat while not on suppressants?” He asks her. Her silence is all the answer he needs. “That’s probably why.”

Her head drops agains his chest, groaning against the fabric coated in her snot. Ben rubs his hands along her back, trying to soothe her. When his hand gets a little too high and gently brushes against the edge of her gland, a tremor runs through her body. They both still at that.

“Ben,” He feels her say against his chest. When she looks up at him, her eyes are glassy but determined. He wants to tell her he loves her. “Lets get out of here.”

Ben can only manage to nod.


	4. do paint the meadows with delight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _If he was bothered by Rey’s incessant tapping of her foot and glancing around, he didn't say anything. She snuck a few glances at him, afraid to get caught staring at him for an improper amount of time._
> 
> _Because staring is only the tip of the iceberg of what Rey wants to do. ___
> 
> __-_ _
> 
> __Rey is about to go into heat and Ben knows just what she needs._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi frens! i love you all so much for ur continued support. i've honestly never had this volume of comments or likes in such a short amount of time, and i can't begin to describe what that means to me. u are all my babes.
> 
> now, plz enjoy our lil dummies gettin HEATed up (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

The car was silent, save for the low rumble of the engine. Ben had his hands grasped firmly around the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. His eyes were trained firmly ahead, looking out at the road. If he was bothered by Rey’s incessant tapping of her foot and glancing around, he didn't say anything. She snuck a few glances at him, afraid to get caught staring at him for an improper amount of time.

Because staring is only the tip of the iceberg of what Rey wants to do.

She wants to look at him and lick him and taste him and feel him and love him and hold him and know what he looks like without a stitch of clothing and worship him and bite him and so many other things that would be frowned upon doing for two people who haven’t even kissed.

Rey sees the tell-tale signs of heat approaching once Ben had pointed it out to her. The unsatisfying masturbatory sessions, territorial guarding, itchy glands; all things that should have made Rey well aware of what was upcoming before Ben did. But there is less time to think about why she didn’t notice right now.

No, right now, all she can think about is the alpha next to her. The alpha that held her on the floor when she cried for no reason. The alpha that snuck her out of the house and into his car. The alpha that covered for her with all her friends without even batting an eye. The alpha that almost assuredly is causing her reactive heat that will take Rey out of commission for the next 4 - 5 days.

She spares another glance at him, his profile illuminated by the streetlights, and tries to singe the view into her memory. Ben has always been beautiful. Strong features, intense yet kind, hair that would drive any person mad; it was like looking at a God.

Rey felt her fingers itching to reach out and touch him again, but didn’t to make him uncomfortable. The desire lessened when he turned down an unfamiliar street.

“You’re taking me to my apartment?” She asks, trying to hide the hurt in her voice.

“Well… yeah?” he says. Rey looks over at him, eyes wide and brimmed with tears.

“Um… okay. I just- okay.” She turns her head and stares forward, willing her eyes not to spill over.She just knows her pheromones are clogging up the car, but she’d rather ignore that then face rejection.

“I just figured you’d want to be in your own space. Your own nest, and stuff. I’ve… never been through a heat with an omega, so I’m kind of flying blind here.”

Her head snaps back to him, relief rolling off of her in waves.

“You’re going to spend my heat with me?” Ben finally turns to look at her as soon as he pulls into the spot in front of her building.

“Of course, Rey.”

A car probably isn’t the best place for a large display of affection, certainly not for someone quite as large as Ben, but Rey can’t help it. She surges off the seat, planting her lips on his with more force than she intends, hands instantly going to cup the back of his head.

Rey has a fleeting though of worry that dissipates when she feel’s Ben’s strong arms wrap around her midsection, holding her as tightly as he can with the center console in the way. His lips move roughly against hers, and it’s not long before Rey feels his tongue sneak into her mouth. He tastes so good that Rey keens as their tongues tangle together.

Rey hears a growl, emanating from somewhere deep within Ben, before he clearly gets fed up with the space between them, and pulls her onto his lap.

It’s _infinitely_ better this way. Her legs are on either side of his, chest flushed together, hands tangling in the others hair. His mouth works against hers before trailing lower, down her jaw as she gasps for air.

“Good, alpha. So good.” She’s breathless as she chokes out the words, making Ben squeeze her impossibly tighter. When the heavy hardness she’d felt when he scented her makes an appearance between his legs again, Rey can’t help but rock against him. Ben moans before he bites down on her shoulder, narrowly avoiding her glands. Filled with confidence from his reaction, she goes to do it again, but Ben’s hands stop her.

He shifts his legs so that she’s not directly in his lap, and his hands go to hold her torso away from him, back against the steering wheel. His head drops to her chest as she feels him catch his breath.

“If we go further in here, there’s a good chance we won’t make it out of the car for the next _week_.”

It’s hard for Ben to say this; she can hear it in the way his voice sounds shredded. But Rey isn’t easily deterred.

“I don’t care,” She says, mouthing at the side of his head, kissing down his ear.

“ _Omega_ ,” He growls, making Rey still instantly. When his eyes look up at her, it’s the same black that she’d stared into when he scented her. “I want to spend your first heat together in a bed, at least.”

Rey doesn’t know whether its the command or the promise of potential future heats or the way he’s looking into her or her oncoming heat, but Rey _melts_. The prospect of a bed does sounds exponentially more comfortable than his cramped car (certainly for Ben), so she nods quickly. A thought crosses her mind when she envisions the two of them inside of her apartment, making her whine.

“But, Rose will come home,” She pouts.

“Then we’ll get whatever you need and take it back to my place. Does that work?” He asks. Rey nods again. The prospect of having to wait even longer for them to be able to enjoy each other is decidedly not pleasing, but much better than the prospect of subjecting Rose to days of what Rey hopes to be the best heat of her life.

Ben is opening the door and pulling them out of the car before Rey has the ability to say anything else.

Ben holds Rey close to him as they walk up to her apartment, practically carrying her the whole way there, and Rey loves it. He only really sets her down when she goes to fish her keys out of her pocket, and Ben leans his whole body along the length of hers. She feels his erection, still hard and thick, digging into the small of her back. Rey has to physically restrain herself from dropping to her knees right then and there.

She bolts to her room as soon as the door is open, grabbing whatever bag was closest to her and literally shoving different blankets and pillows into it. In the midst of her rampage, she sees Ben wearily standing in her door way. She pauses, looking at him. His eyes are closed and she can see his jaw work.

“Ben?” She asks, stepping towards him. His arm extends out, warning her to stay away.

“We need to get out of her, fast. What can I do to help?”

“Grab blankets, no pillows; put them in here. I just have to grab some things from my bathroom.” She sets the duffle bag down before walking into the bathroom and gathering her face wash and toothbrush. She catches her reflection as she goes to exit, stopping her in her tracks.

Rey is flushed from her face and down her chest, making her freckles stand out even more than they usually do. She sees the beads of sweat forming at the top of her head, despite it dipping into the 40’s this evening. She looks a _mess_. A mess that is about to be thoroughly fucked.

She can live with that.

A loud thumping noise breaks Rey out of her head, and back to the task at hand. She rushes out, worry spiking in her for a moment, before being confused at the sight before her.

Ben is on his knees beside her bed, face buried into the center of her mattress. His hands are clutching the sheets so tightly, they’ve come off her mattress and are curled up around the corners.

“Ben?” She asks. His head pops up from where it was resting, looking dazed and just as flushed as Rey.

“Can we bring these?” He asks, already pulling them into a ball and stuffing them into the duffle bag.

“They’re dirty.”

“I know.”

Rey thinks of earlier and her vain attempts to get off before going to Luke’s. Her slick no doubt dripped onto the very spot where Ben had his face, and a thrill runs up her spine.

_Alpha likes your smell. Alpha wants to taste you._

“We have everything. Let’s go.” Rey grab the last of her items, and begins racing toward the door, Ben not far behind her. She realizes that to an outsider, it would seem like she and Ben are looting her apartment, which isn’t wholly unusual for this part of town, but still disturbing to neighbors. What would she say if someone sees her?

‘Hi, sorry, in a rush. The gigantic alpha you see behind me is about to rearrange my guts for the next few days. It is a travesty that he’s not balls deep in me right now, but we needed to keep some sense of decorum. See you at the next complex meeting!’

By the grace of whatever God is above, they make it to his car and on the road before anyone spares them a sideways glance.

* * *

He’s on her the moment the door is shut. In fact, the only way she knows its shut is because Ben has her pressed against it as his mouth works on hers. His hands grab at her thighs, hoisting her up and keeping her steady with his chest.

“Do you… have any idea… how difficult that was? To be so close to you… to smell you… and have to stop myself?” His words are punctuated with kisses on any body part he can reach with his mouth. Rey pants above him, searching for purchase against the plains of his chest through his shirt.

“Sorry… so sorry, alpha…” It’s the name that gets him. He hauls her up, and carries her onto the couch that’s only a few feet away.

“Rey…” his hands go to the hem of her shirt, and she helps him yank it off of her. Her chest is only covered by the ratty old cotton bralette that was the only thing that didn’t make her nipples hurt too much when she was still planning on having a normal night. It was gross and old and probably (definitely) needed to be washed, but Ben didn’t seem to care. His plush lips worked their way down her chest, licking and sucking every inch of freckled skin he came in contact with. His hands were holding her waist, nearly encompassing all of it, locking her in place.

Rey scrambled to get bralette off of her, and the moment she did, Ben took one of her nipples into her mouth. She cried out, hand immediately going to the back of his head, holding him there. His tongue circled the stiff bud, before his teeth lightly scraped it, making Rey whimper.

“You’re sensitive here,” He whispers against her skin. When he moved to the other one, Reys’ back arches, pushing her chest further into him. Ben sucks at her like a man possessed, covering her in a thick coat of cooling drool down her chest.

“Ben, alpha, please… need you… in me…” Her voice is foreign to her own ears. Rey would think she sounded pathetic if her sane mind had heard her. But how can she mind how awful she sounds, when her words prompt Ben to quickly shuck off his shirt, leaving both of them bare chested. The warmth of his skin feels so, so good against hers. She can’t stop herself from rubbing her nipples against his skin, making her moan as he sucks on her neck.

“Need… to get… pants off,” he growls. Both of them shoot their hands down to tug off their bottoms without loosing any contact. When the job seems impossible to do that, Ben pulls away, making Rey cry out. He yanks her legging off her, nearly pulling her off the couch with him, before ripping her ruined panties right off of her.

Ben stands before her, sopping underwear clutched in one of his hands, bare chested, and pants that need to come off right. fucking. now. But she doesn’t move. She’s horizontal on his couch, propped up by her elbows, naked and flushed beneath him. Ben moves his gaze down her body, taking all of her naked form in. When his eye meet hers again, there is an intensity burning in them that makes Rey shudder.

“If you want to stop, you need to tell me now. Once I start…” His voice trails off, but he doesn’t have to finish what he’s saying for Rey to know. _Once I start, I won’t be able to stop_.

Good. Rey doesn’t want him to. _Ever_.

“I want you, Alpha.” It’s all Ben needs to hear before sucking off his pants and underwear, and going back on to of Rey. His lips meet hers in a fiery kiss as he throws pillows off the couch to accommodate their bodies. While this would probably be better in a bed, Rey knows they wouldn’t make it that far.

Be slots himself between her legs, cock hard and curved upwards against his abdomen. She wants to stare at him, get her fill of looking at him like he did to her, but now is not the time. She feel’s his hand go between her legs, before tracing her cunt. Ben whimpers when he feels the slick pooling there.

“I should be better… should prepare you more…” He grumbles. Rey leans into his touch, bucking her hips to catch more of his fingers.

“Please…” She feels the hot sting of tears fall from the corners of her eyes. Ben kisses away the tears, as he traces his cock on the outside of her folds. When the thick head breaches her, Rey gives a noiseless shout.

Ben’s lips still against her cheek as he focuses on being slow. Part of Rey wants him to just slam into her, steal her breath, and force her to bounce on his dick. But she knows he won’t. Ben will take his time, letting her adjust and getting her comfortable before he moves in earnest. She’ll have to talk to him about changing the pace a little bit when they’ve come.

He moves slowly, stretching her as he seats himself within her, mumbling curse words the deeper he got. When their hips are flush together and Ben is as far in as possible, they both lay there, adjusting to the feeling.

“Ben,” She whispers, hand coming up to brush some of the hair out of his eyes.

“You feel… Fuck! You feels so good, Rey. So right, so perfect… I can’t… I want to live in your cunt. I just… I-” Whatever Ben goes to say gets choked off as he bites a pillow behind her head. Rey feels the slightest swelling of his knot at the base of his cock, and can’t stop herself from rocking a little bit.

His hand immediately goes to her waist, gripping her so hard she feels the bruises already forming. She wishes it didn’t feel so good. That his body pressing her down and gripping her so tightly didn’t feel like everything was right in the world. Rey could die here, in this moment, and be forever content with how she went. But she doesn’t die.

Ben begins moving, not exactly thrusting, but shallow movement that make Rey see stars. He’s big inside of her, splitting her to her very core and she wonders if she could feel him just by pressing on her abdomen.

Bens’ thrust get more sure and it’s not long before he’s moving in and out of her with a steady pace. His lips find her pulse point and suck there as his hips go faster. Rey babbles incoherently, things that make no sense. Bens’ vocabulary is reduced to grunts and mumbles said hotly in her skin.

Rey doesn’t know if it’s by accident or not, but when she feel’s the lightly swipe of his tongue against her glands, she’s mercilessly thrust into an orgasm. It wasn’t the slow approach that she’d become used to giving herself, or even the rushing one she gets when she edges or just a little too long. It’s an explosion in her body that makes her transcend reality. She’s sobbing now, leaking out of her eyes as her arms wrap around his shoulders. She grips him, trying to press him closer, inside of herself, if possible.

Ben is still moving within her, now setting a punishing pace as his body wrecks her. She feels his balls, heavy, slapping against her ass as his cock rushes in and out of her. His thighs beneath hers are strong and corded in muscles, keeping her legs spread open for him.

He licks her with surer strokes, using his tongue to lave along her glands and leave them glistening with his saliva. Distantly, Rey hears herself begging Ben to bite her. To mate her. To make her his permanently. To hold her and fuck her for the rest of their lives. To fill her with his children. To cherish her. _To be with her_.

His thrust become erratic as he nears his orgasm. His hand digs between them, finding her clit and rubbing it with the pad of his thumb. She’s oversensitive from her first orgasm, but Ben thrust her into another one as his knot inflates fully, catching inside of her cunt, and coming.

Coming, and coming, and coming.

Ben howls into her neck when he does. Their hips, joined together, still twitching as he empties his come into her Reys’ waiting cunt. It’s hot, Rey can feel the warmth radiating from inside as he twitches. She pets his hair, bringing it out of his eyes as he comes down from his high.

Ben rest his head in the side of her neck, nose tracing along the edge of her jaw. His hands rub along her sides, soothing her in a way Rey didn’t know she needed.

Rey doesn’t dare move. They’re both too sensitive from their fucking, that any movement on either of their parts will result in bitten lips and perhaps some more spilled come.

“Ben…” She whispers. She doesn’t have anything to say to him, mind blissfully clear, but she like the way his name feels on her tongue.

“Rey…” His voice is a low growl that Rey has come to like way too much the last few days. She wonders now if he can ever say it without making her shiver.

“Are you okay?” She ask. He gives a breathless laugh, nuzzling into her neck before planting wet, open-mouthed kisses.

“I… there are no words to describe what I’m feeling.”

She holds him tighter.

“That was…”

“Yeah.”

“We’ll get to do that a lot for the next few days.”

“That’s what I’m counting on.”

Rey can feel him smile in her skin. It prompts one of her own to blossom on her face.

* * *

When Bens’ knot finally deflates enough for him to slip out of her, the rush of fluid that escapes Reys’ pussy is _obscene_. When she cries out at the sensation, Ben immediately worries, and goes to press kisses to her jaw.

“Are you hurt?” Ben can’t hide the panic in his voice.

“No,” She hears him breath a sigh of relief, “I just… didn’t want to ruin your couch.” She doesn’t say that the loss of him and his come makes the omega part of her brain rebel with a fierce cry. That she wants to keep his come right where it belongs; inside of her. It’s too early for that, she thinks. (Her omega _strongly_ disagrees.)

When hearing that she’s not hurt, Ben pulls back and lowers his gaze to between her thighs. She’s sure he can see the way the white fluid falls from between her, and she goes to close her legs, but his hands keep them open.

“You’re… so perfect.” Ben says, eyes still firmly resting on her pussy. When he looks back up at Rey, she sees an emotion splay across his face that makes her ready for round two instantly.

Instead of diving back in, like Rey wants, Ben scoops her up and walks purposefully into his large master suite. When he doesn’t deposit her on the bed and start ravishing her immediately, Rey gives him a confused glance.

“We won’t be able to shower for a few days. We should get one in while we’re still.. sane.”

The disappointment of washing Ben’s scent off of her, even if he’ll put it right back on, makes her frown. But an instant worry replaces the disappointment. 

“Do I stink?” She lifts her elbows to smell her pits. Even though she showed earlier, she’s still a former street rat. Maybe she doesn’t clean as well as Ben would like her to.

“Rey…” He begins, setting her down in the bathtub. “I…” he looks lost for the words for a minute, before closing his eyes again. “You don’t stink, Rey… You’ve never stank, to me. I want to get the other scents off our skins. Our friends don’t smell bad, but… I need to smell only you. I want you to smell only me.”

His words are low and dangerous and Rey has the inexplicable desire to kiss him again. So she does. Because she can do that now; kiss Ben when she wants.

“Thank you… alpha,” She mumbles against his lips. Ben recaptures them in an instant, deepening the kiss so much that he has to run an arm around her waist to hold Rey up. It’s slow and sweet and Rey doesn’t think she could love something more than the way Ben kisses her.

When they finally break away, Ben starts washing them immediately. His fancy shower has more knobs and heads than Rey has ever seen, but Ben works with a quick efficiency to get the spray to the right temperature. Ben doesn’t use as loofa or washcloth, instead opting to soaping up his hands before setting to work on Rey’s body. His hands are careful; delicate touches down her body.

If Ben spends more time than necessary washing her tits, she’ll never tell.

He runs his hands between her legs, not washing away the rest of the come that’s leaked out of her. She knows he’ll replace it, knows that he’ll do it soon, but she can’t help but frown when he washes it away.

Ben kisses every spot he cleans. Her chest, her stomach, her shoulder, her elbows, her calves, her hips, her neck. He leaves no spot untouched. It’s the most Rey has every been touched in her whole life and she’s _drunk_ off of it.

When Rey goes to return the favor and wash Ben, her hands are much more unsteady. They tremble against his skin, doing little more than tracing with her finger tips. She wishes she knew how to take care of him like he takes care of her. She vows to learn, no matter what.

Ben doesn’t say anything about her unsteady touch, just follows along with his own hands, washing spots she didn’t get thoroughly enough. Eventually, she gives up the charade of cleaning him, and just rest against him while he finishes the job.

While Rey understands his thought process, she’s a little more than miffed that he’s washing all of his scent away. She thinks of a not-weird way to telling Ben that the musk she smelled when he raised his arms made her want to lick him all over without having washed for days.

She decides that there is no not-weird way, so she’ll table that discussion for another time.

When they finish rinsing off, Ben is half hard. She goes to wrap her hand around him, but is stopped when he catches her wrist.

“You’re heat hasn’t fully set in yet. You should take this opportunity to sleep while you can.”

Rey pouts. She feels for a moment like a spoiled brat, but can’t help it. She wants him. Badly.

“Rey…” he warns again, when she tries to continue her pursuit of him. When that doesn’t stop her either, Ben gives a command. “Omega.”

He doesn’t need to say anything else for Rey to know he’s not playing right now. Her pout deepens.

“I want you,” She says, looking up at him with the most puppy-dog eyes she can muster. It breaks him slightly, but not enough.

“And I want you, so, _so_ bad. But I need to take care of you first, okay?” Ben never patronizes her. Even if the words he says so badly want to be patronizing, it never comes out that way. It make it easier to accept what he’s saying.

“… fine,” She mumbles, earning a quick peck on her lips.

Ben wraps her in the fluffiest, biggest towel she’s ever seen. It smells like him, so she unashamedly takes long sniffs into it as he dries her off. It occurs to her that she’s being unhelpful in his pursuit of getting them cleaned, and a pang of fear blooms inside of her.

“I’ve never been taken care of like this. I feel like I’m doing something wrong. Will you tell me if I’m doing something wrong?” She asks.

Ben stills, brushing her dripping wet hair back.

“Your’e not doing anything wrong. You’ve never done anything wrong. I need this, Rey. I need to make sure you fell-” Ben thinks for a long moment, not breaking eye contact for one second. “I need you to feel safe,” He finish is. It’s not exactly what she wants to hear, but she’s content nonetheless.

“I do. I feel safe, Ben. I feel safe with you.”

A smile tugs at the corners of his lips as he finishes drying her off.

* * *

He tucks her into bed, following closely behind her. Ben lays her on top of him, and Rey nuzzles further into him. He’d given her a dirty t-shirt, one he wore only in the house so it smells deliciously like him, but she’d refused any underwear. When he’d realized she’d be panty-less in his bed, Rey is sure he considered foregoing sleeping, but ultimately swallowed it down.

Ben dried their hair, donned some loose boxers, and slid into bed with her with such a practiced ease, you’d think they’d done this a million times. Rey doesn’t tell him how much she hopes that it becomes a reality.

Her arms go around him as she settles into his chest, feeling more comfortable than she ever has before. Rey hears a clicking of a phone behind her and frowns into his chest.

“You’re texting someone?”

“Rose,” He says. Rey instantly relaxes. “Telling her that you’ll be with me for the next few days.”

“Oh… thank you.”

He hums against her and Rey presses a kiss to the center of his chest.

“Will you be okay? Taking time off like this?” She asks.

“Of course. I’ve never taken any time off, so I’ve accrued quite a bit.”

Rey shoots up, knocking the phone out of his hand.

“You’ve _never_ taken time off? Haven’t you worked for First Order for like… 10 years?”

Ben shrugs. “I’ve never needed to.”

“I don’t want to make you take time off if you don’t want.”

Ben chuckles slightly, reaching out to cup Reys’ cheek. She leans into it on instinct.

“I want to be with you, Rey. I always will.”

The stamens warms something in her heart that make Rey feel like she’s finally alive. Like she can finally take a full breath of air. Like everything that she’s gone through has led to this point.

She was confused a little when he told her she’s smelled like home, because what was that? How could she smell like a place? But she realizes now what he meant. There really is no better word to describe it, what Ben smells like.

Because he smells like home, too.


	5. made with the fume of sighs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Rey has always known Ben was attractive. But right now, he was perfection._
> 
> _Rey felt almost guilty for all the debasement she was about to unleash on him._
> 
> _Almost. ___
> 
> __-_ _
> 
> __Ben and Rey spend her heat together._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry for the delay on this chapter! i threw a May the 4th party for my fam and my attention were... elsewhere. plz enjoy this party of sin as a lil treat. ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)
> 
> (also i feel inclined to inform you that the editorial note for this chapter was 'Ch 5: Ben comes over; they fuck')

It’s hot when she wakes. Like, boil off your skin, 7th circle of hell, smokey inferno, hot. It’s not that she didn’t expect it, per se, but she didn’t realize just how bad it would be. Heats on suppressants were awful, to say the very least. She remembers the scratches that adorned her skin the first time she ever had a heat. The body marring she’d inflicted upon herself when the fire inside of her grew too hot. But they were bearable by herself (and a solid knotting dildo that she’d used her very first paycheck on).

But this? Rey would never survive on her own.

When she realizes that she doesn’t have to, Rey instantly turns to Ben. He’s snoring softly next to her, chest moving slowly as he breaths. The soft glow from a lamp they’d forgotten to turn out in the hallway illuminated his skin.

Rey has always known Ben was attractive. But right now, he was perfection. Rey felt almost guilty for all the debasement she was about to unleash on him. _Almost_.

She rolls over onto his chest, nose instantly going to the juncture between his shoulder and neck, inhaling as deeply as possible. His scent is so thick and rich, she can taste it on her tongue. Ben smells _sinful_.

Only when her hips start grinding on his thigh does Rey realize how wet she is. Her slick has clearly been flowing for some time now, and has drenched her cunt. It’s wet and sticky and feels so, so good moving against Ben.

He’s already hard when she wakes, and can feel him through the thin shorts of his boxers. Her hands dig into his sides, grounding her to him like she might float away if she doesn’t. She feels Ben wake with a sharp intake of breath, no doubt smelling her. Ben stays still below her for a moment, letting Rey use his body, until he finally comes to full consciousness. His whole body tightens when he realizes what she’s doing, and his hands grip her hips.

Rey is putty in his hands, making no effort to combat him when he flips them over, just holding herself to him as tightly as she can manage. Ben mouths at her hair, kissing any part of Rey his mouth can find. Rey touches all the skin she can find, and nearly hisses when she feels the fabric of his boxers impede her way.

She tries to shimmy them off of Ben, trying to get him naked and inside of her as soon a possible. Her hands shake against his skin as the fruitlessly pull at the offending fabric. Ben guides his hand down her body and to her shaking fist, soothing her in a way she didn’t know she needed. Ben moves with her to take of his boxers, and Rey is only reminded that she’s wearing a shirt when Ben rips it off of her.

_Rips_.

With his bare fist.

The omega in Rey positively _keens_.

She’s panting against Ben as he continues his assault with his mouth, moving to her neck and sucking on her scent glands.She babbles incoherently until she feels his cock, hard and dripping against her core.

“Need you… alpha… need you…” Ben makes a sound of affirmation at her words, unable to pull himself off her to properly respond. When his hips cant and his head enters her for the second time that night, Rey gasps.

Her hands fly to Ben’s head, tugging his hair into her fist as he seats himself fully inside of her. His groan against her skin sends delicious vibrations all the way down to her toes and Rey thinks she’s never felt more right.

“So, so good… good for me… omega…” His words are whispered through clenched teeth. Ben bites at her collar bone, no doubt leaving even more purple hickeys dotting her skin. Rey tries to move her hips beneath his crushing weight, to get him to move inside of her like she so desperately needs.

When he starts thrusting, Ben does it like it’s painful. Like every movement test his self-restraint. Like he wants to piston inside of her and fuck her within an inch of her life. If Rey had the capability to speak in even fragmented segments, she would have begged him for that.

“Fast…Ben… please…”

He moves with purpose now, giving Rey a taste of the roughness the fire inside of her so desperately desires. Her mouth goes to his glands, licking and sucking at his like he did for her. The whimper he gives makes her arch her back even further into him. His hands hold onto her hips, at first to keep her steady, but now to move her along his cock. Ben stretches her every time he enters her, giving wondrous sensations along Rey’s spine. He moves her so easily, like she weighs nothing at all.

The heat that Rey woke to, that she though was all consuming, became a blanket of comfort. Feeling the heat between them was satisfying in a way Rey had never thought possible. It’s still a lot, still clouding her head like a dense fog, but there’s a rightness in it. A sense that this is where she’s supposed to be. Beneath an alpha, _this_ alpha, letting him have her in anyway he could want. It’s a drug that she’s quickly becoming addicted to.

Her orgasm crashes on her the moment his thumb finds her clit. If she screams, the blood rushing in her hears drowns it out. Her mouth flies to Ben’s, eagerly waiting for her. Ben works her through it, kissing Rey within an inch of her life, and using his body to bring out any pleasure that could possibly be given.

Rey feels the hot splash of tears on her cheek, and when she opens her eyes, it shocking to see that they come from Ben.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Her hand instantly flies to up cup his cheek. Bens’ eyes are wide as they stare down at her. He still moves within her, slower now, with that same painful restraint from earlier.

“I need this… I need you…” The flush in his face and pout in his lips make Ben look so beautiful that it’s impossible to look away. Rey pets his cheeks, brushing his hair from his sweaty forehead.

“You have me, Ben. You have me,” She tells him. His lips drop to hers in a bruising kiss as he comes. His hips are flush with hers that their body is nearly one, as he continues spilling into her.

It’s a balm her body needed that comforts her in a way words won’t do justice. Even better than before, on the couch, before the worst of her heat. Now, in the throes of it, his come saves her.

His knot inflates and locks them together, not that either of them would ever dream of parting, but in such a secure way that Rey is overwhelmed with. Ben collapses on her, kissing and licking her skin and glands, knowing somehow that its what she needs.

She knows the hot tears on her cheek this time come from her.

* * *

They drift between sleep and sex like breathing. One moment they’re basking in the feeling of cooling come, the next they’re passed out like they haven’t slept in days. Rey like it most when she wakes to Ben kissing down her skin, either in chaste, kind kisses that remind her there is thick layer of sweetness beneath this strong alpha, or in hot, wet kisses that makes her body feel like it’s on a bed of needles.

She’s lost count of how many times they’ve fucked, certainly how many times they’ve come, but the sticky white fluid coating her thighs and sheets beneath her makes her think a lot.

His head is resting on her stomach, hands holding onto the sides of her hips. Ben sores lightly against her skin as she cards through his hair. It’s a rare moment of clarity that is giving her the ability to bask in the moment, feel human again, if only just. It’s been… 36 hours? Maybe. The curtains are drawn closed so time telling is a bit harder. Especially since they don’t know where their phones are and don’t care to look

Rey feels Ben come to, snores ceasing. She smiles down at him as he lifts his head from her abdomen, sleep still evident in his eyes.

“Hi,” She breaths, mentally mapping the moles on his face. Ben grumbles something before dropping his head back down, planting wet kisses on her stomach.

“I think…” He begins, trailing kisses up to her face, “… that I’m going into rut.”

Rey hums, still running her fingers through his hair.

“How do you know? When it’s coming on, I mean?” She asks.

Ben pauses, seems to consider this while his nose works a line up and down her neck.

“My senses are on overdrive… like I can taste emotions. Last time you came I could taste it in my _molars_.”

“That sounds unpleasant.”

“Its not. Not with you.”

If Rey were in any better state of mind, that admission would cause her to reel. To think of what he means and if he actually means it and it’s not just some pheromone induced statement meant to get into an omegas pants.

But heat-Rey knows Ben means it. Means it for her.

Rey feels the familiar lick of heat stir within her core and knows this brief reprieve will be ending soon and the lust induced haze will settle over her once more.

“What are you like during rut?” Rey rushes to ask. She’s not worried about it in the slightest, just curious to know before her hindbrain takes over.

“ _Posessive_.”

Ben doesn't elaborate, but they both know it’s enough of an explanation.

* * *

The slick, slapping sounds of their hips meeting repeatedly almost drowns out the grunts Ben gives and the moans Rey can’t contain. He is spread on his knees, hands holding Rey by the waist as he moves her up and down his cock.

“Want… want behind… you behind… _please_ …” Her voice is broken as she whines her request. The blurry view of Ben she has is enough to see him clench his jaw tighter.

“No,” He grunts out. Rey gasps.

“Please alpha… please.”

“If I take you from behind,” Ben punctuates his words with a deep thrust that makes Rey feel him in her throat, “I’ll bite you.” The words are spoke though clenched teeth, with a voice that sounds like its pulled from the depths of his vocal cords.

“Bite me, alpha. Mate me, mate me _please_ …”

“Omega,” He warns.

“Please, alpha… mate me, fill me with your pups… please, alpha,” Rey cries.

Ben’s knot catches as he comes and comes and comes.

* * *

“Please…”

Rey protrudes her neck out even further, chin all the way pushed into her chest.

“Rey…” His voice is a whine, his resolve is breaking.

“Want you to mate me, alpha.”  
  
“You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“I do, I do! Please, Ben,” She sobs.

His head falls on her shoulder blade, and she can feel the tension in his jaw.

Ben has his arms wrapped around her center as his cock pushes into her, much too slowly for her liking. But alpha is in control now, and Rey doesn’t dare move against him.

“Baby… I can’t.”

Rey goes to beg him again, but his hand latches onto her clit, circling it until her lips can’t form words.

* * *

It’s cool when Ben wakes.

The a/c must have kicked into overdrive while he and Rey were… fornicating. His room is frigid and a stark comparison to the heat they’ve been wallowing around in for days now. Rey must be cold to because she’s huddled up beneath him, body curled around his and leg hooked over him.

Her small hands are balled into fist holding up one of the many blankets he brought over when they first got here. She’s warm against him, but not in the steaming hot way she had been all weekend. That, and her scent, tell Ben that her heat is over.

The stab of disappointment he feels hollows some part of him out. 

Ben should get them up, give her some water and food, make her take a shower, then drive her and her nest to her apartment, with a friendly peck on the cheek while he thanks her for a much-needed vacation.

That’s the proper way to handle this. It was a means to an end. She went into an inevitable heat, putting him to a rut, and they fucked like rabbits because it’s what biology wanted.

Biology did, however, fail to explain the intense feelings Ben still felt when he looked at her. Or the way he always held her tighter when she said his proper name. Or how hard he came when she was begging him to mate her. Or the surge of love he felt when she asked him to give her pups. 

Ben looked down at Rey, still sound asleep against his chest.

He knew he would never recover from this. That now his life was her. That it didn’t matter how Ben didn’t sink his teeth into the pulsing gland on the back of her neck and mark his territory forever; Ben was Rey’s, mating be damed.

Rey’s face scrunched up before her breathing caught, coming too much like Ben had. When her hazel eyes opened up and landed on Bens’ face, he felt his heart stop.

“You’re awake.”

He nods.

Instead of getting up and doing what Ben fears the most, Rey nuzzles back into him, inhaling his skin like its not the only thing she’s smelled for the past few days.

“My heat is over.” Ben doesn’t know whether he says it for her benefit or his.

“Yeah.”

They stay silent for a moment before she speaks again, this time her voice is even softer than before.

“You didn’t mate me.”

The twinge of disappointment he detects in her voice make his throat feel tight.

“Did you want me to?”

It’s a loaded question, one that shouldn’t be asked to an omega coming out of a heat. Ben needs to hear her answer all the same.

“I asked you to.” Her hand comes up to brush along the gland, feeling the unmarked skin. Rey looks back up at Ben, eyes wide and filled with an emotion he can’t quiet place. “Thank you. I shouldn’t have asked that of you… especially in rut. You’re a stronger alpha than most.”

Ben should feel a bout of alpha pride at that complement. He should beam and flex his muscles and buy a monster truck just to back up what she’s said.

But he doesn’t.

For all the times Ben has wished for strength and resolve, he wished it weren’t given to him. That he was weak enough to have broken down and bitten her and mated with Rey and finally confessed what he felt for her went far beyond the friendly rapport he would have to sink back into. That the sense of belonging he felt with Rey and no one else would finally come to head and they’d be connected for the rest of time. That he would mate her and marry her and have a hoard of children and grow old together and be remembered as each others.

Ben hopes she can’t see the tears welling in his eyes.

“It would have been wrong of me… to do that to you. Without your consent… your mentally stable consent.”

She looks at him for a moment more, face unreadable even in the pale sunlight that is peaking into the room. When she rest her head against his chest once more, only moving her hands to caress his skin, Ben exhales a sigh of relief and prays that this moment would last forever.


	6. strike now, or else the iron cools

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Sorry it’s not much. I can always get something delivered here, if you want…” He says, cracking his fifth egg. Rey is eating it at an ungodly place, after all._
> 
> _“Are you kidding me?” She asks with a mouthful. “This is the best breakfast anyone has ever made. I’m talking Gordon Ramsey level delicious.” ___
> 
> __-_ _
> 
> __Rey and Ben deal with post-heat emotions and show us how not good they are at talking about their feelings._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as you all know, i'm baby and also the Worst™ at getting back to your wonderful, amazing, defiantly-gonna-put-one-of-em-on-my-headstone comments that literally keep me young. you are all so wonderful and i cannot thank you enough for your support.
> 
> please enjoy our favorite space babies being bad about sharing their emotions!

Ben realizes now that he should have cleaned. Not that he had any idea that he would be having company, certainly for this long, but the neat-freak impulse in him was something that disregarded inane facts like that.

He also feels he should have gone to the grocery store to buy food that was befitting of a ‘ _hey we just spent your whole heat together and now and you’re still covered in my dried come and I would literally like to stay inside of here with you for the rest of my life_ ' meal, but Ben lacks some ingredients. Not that there is a meal that says that, but scrambled eggs and turkey bacon definitely isn’t it.

  
Regardless, Rey consumes the runny scrambled eggs and over-cooked bacon like it’s the only food she’s ever wanted to eat. Theres bits of egg smattering her nose and a small piece of bacon comically hanging on her chin and the urge to kiss it off her makes Ben grip the frying pan a little harder.

“Sorry it’s not much. I can always get something delivered here, if you want…” He says, cracking his fifth egg. Rey is eating it at an ungodly place, after all.

“Are you kidding me?” She asks with a mouthful. “This is the best breakfast anyone has ever made. I’m talking Gordon Ramsey level delicious.”

Ben chuckles bashfully as he plates the rest of his food and joins her at the table. Her wide hazel eyes follow him as he sits beside her and begins eating. When her gaze becomes too much, he speaks again.

“How are you, uh… feeling?” Ben asks. Rey shrugs as she swallows what is likely a whole egg.

“I’m always a little off kilter when I come down from heat. Jumpy for a few days, but…” She trails off before taking a huge gulp of coffee Ben prepared earlier.

“But…?”

When she looks back up at him, the fork guiding up to his mouth stills, and he gets lost in her eyes.

“I’ve never spent my heat with anybody… I feel… different. Still off-center, but in a way I can’t place.”

He sets his fork down, food cooling on it. Rey is biting her lip, still looking at him, but Ben is lost in the admission.

“You’ve… never spent heat with anyone?”

“No… just you.”

Ben gulps.

“Should I… do you need me to… I don’t know what I should do. I keep feeling like I’m failing you.” His voice is quiet when he tells her. Rey quickly puts her hand on his face, brushing hair out of his eyes. He nuzzles into her palm automatically.

“Ben… you’re perfect.” The adoration in her voice, the look in her eyes; Ben got what Rey meant when she said her world feels off kilter. “No one has ever taken care of my like you. _Ever_.”

Ben can’t respond. He can’t even open his mouth for fear that he’ll tell her how much he loves her, and no matter the state of the relationship, it’s too soon for that.When he doesn’t respond, Rey places both hands on his face.

“You’ve done so much for me, please tell me what I can do for you.” Ben recognizes the glint in her eye, the same one he surely had when he scented her.

“Can you… can you sit in my lap? I know it’s a bit weird but, I need to feel you and-”

Without preamble, Rey stood from his dining room chair and plopped into his lap, pert ass resting between his thigh thighs. One of her hands went to scoot her plate closer to her new seat and the other went to grip his knee.

“It’s not weird. Not at all.” She continues stuffing her face with eggs, and Ben can only smile and do the same.

-

“We should probably shower.”

Her voice cuts through the silence of his apartment. Rey lays on the couch while Ben lays on top of her, head at her stomach, hands holding onto her hips. The television Leia purchased him for the apartment is turned on for once in its life, and some trashy reality show is playing that Rey ‘has to catch up on before joining the civilized world’.

Ben had complied with her, happy to soak up any more time he can greedily touching her as much as she will allow. She laughs at the parts he should probably pay attention to and cards through his hair like she’s done it for years. It’s an easy, peaceful moment that Ben wishes they would be trapped in forever.

But when her voices breaks through and Ben realizes the tv had gone dark, his stomach sank.

“Do you want to shower?” He says with his face pressed to her abdomen, taking a deep breath and inhaling the dizzying scent of her and him mixed together.

“I think we _should_ shower. May not be the the politest thing to walk around post-heat smelling like we’re still in the middle of fucking.”

Ben can’t stop the whine from escaping his throat. He feels her silent chuckle rumble against his body.

“I guess you’re right…” He says, mouth muffled by her skin.

He knows that this is the logical first step that should be taken once two friends fuck mercilessly for days. Take a shower, put on clothes, actually step outside of the apartment and back into civilization. But Ben doesn’t want that. The thought of letting Rey leave now, after… everything? It would kill him. It would destroy his soul until he couldn’t function.

He thinks maybe Rey might feel the same, the way she pointedly avoided turning on her phone to catch up on what they’d missed the past few day’s. It fills him with a hope he’s too cautious to enjoy.

That, and the way she’s still attached to him at the hip. She sits up the moment he does, goes from the couch to the bathroom with her hands wrapped around his forearm, peals off the clothes they’d haphazardly thrown on earlier before stepping in the shower with him.

‘Omega wants this, too. Wants you too’ His hindbrain helplessly provides.

Ben is reminded of the start of her heat, rinsing off in this same shower, same position, but worlds away from where they were now.

-

Like everything else he does, Ben is efficient in washing Rey. He cleans her, dries her, gives her clothes without a second thought. He does everything with a determined hand that Rey wonders if she even needs to physically move herself from room to room. He’d do that if she asks. (She narrowly avoids breaking down and asking him to do just that.)

They’re clean, dressed and presentable, and ready to move on from what can only be considered an earth-shattering experience and Rey isn’t at all prepared to let go. She sits at the barstool, holding her darkened phone in her hands.

“I guess we have to go back to the real world now, huh?” She says, mostly to herself. Ben stands across the island from her, his phone dwarfed in his palm.

“That would be the general consensus.” He replies. Rey looks down and frowns, clicking to turn on her phone and be barraged with the millions of text her friends had no doubtsent.

Automatically, Rose pops up.

_Are you going home with Ben?_

_Like… going home to_

💓🚀🔞👅👉🏼👌🏼🍑😘🚻

🤼♀️🥰💝🔝🦴🥵🎺🤤💃🏻💖🕺🏻🎉💍

🛌💑👨👩👧👦🌋💕💯

_hey babes Benji just texted me!_

_go get that **** on your ***** and **** in_

_your ********* and his *** on **** *** *** *****!_

_girl its been like three days I’m staring_

_to get worried about you and him_

_should i drop off a humidifier or_

_condoms or something??_

_based on your lack of response I’ll assume_

_u gettin that dick too good to worry about_

_little things like food and water but_

_please stay hydrated!_

_FIVE DAYS BITCH_

_HOW DOES ONE GET AN APPOINTMENT_

_WITH DOCTOR DICK BRO_

_HOOK A BITCH UP_

_wow that last message was aggressive lolz_

_please text me whenever you get these!_

_I just want to make sure ben’s peen didn’t_

_send you into analeptic shock and kill ya cuz_

_rent is due in like a week_ 🥰

Based on Roses’ text, Rey decided that the text messages from Poe were better left deleted and never seared into her mind. Rey grimaces down at the remainder of her messages when she hears Ben.

“Fuck,” He says, frowning down at his phone.

“Your reading you text from Rose?” She asks, eyes downturned and unwilling to make eye contact.

“No, I blocked all our friends before we… before. I’m trying to catch up on work emails now. You’d really think a multi-billion dollar company couldn’t run themselves when one person takes heat leave.” The deep set frown lines Rey had become so familiar with had woven their way back onto Ben’s face. A deep wave of guilt washed over Rey when she realized just how long this heat had been.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry Ben! I didn’t realize- I had no idea… I can’t believe it lasted this long and you- ugh Ben, I am really, _really_ sorry.” Rey instantly went to grab her bags and get out of Ben’s hair as fast as humanly possible. Nearly a whole week gone because her stupid fucking body needed a stupid fucking knot and her stupid fucking insurance couldn’t provide stupid fucking suppressants-

Ben’s hand grabs her upper arm, the one attempting to toss the duffle bag strap around her shoulder, instantly stilling her. When her eyes meet his, she’s met with an expression she can’t quite place.

“I’m not sorry. Not at all. Please don’t be sorry, Rey.”

It’s a close of a command as she’ll allow, being that she’s coming down from heat, but his steely and determined voice shakes something within her that she isn’t prepared to internalize.

Rey drops the duffle bag and wraps her arms around Ben’s midsection before he can say anything else. She shoves her face into his broad chest, covered by a sweater that smells so much like him that it hurts, and bites her lip trying not to cry.

“I just can’t believe it’s over. Is that weird? It’s like… like the past week hasn’t been real.” Her words are muffled but she knows Ben heard them. His arm wrap around her too, soothingly stroking her back and gently brushing against her glands.

“It felt like a dream for me too, Rey.”

They stand there for minutes, maybe hours, holding onto each other and preserving their little bubble for as long as they can. They should talk about what this means, where this leaves them, but the words don’t come. Speaking about it, hearing that he may not want what she does, would break her. Rey won’t let herself think of the possibility that he could want the same thing; the downfall if she’s wrong would crush her.

And since Rey’s body wasn’t done being a traitor, it rumbles loudly in the silent moment. Ben’s hand stills on her back, and Rey groans in embarrassment.

“I should have fed you more.”

-

“How do you even find half of these restaurants? It’s like you an underground 5-star eatery aficionado. Do you have a secret Tik Tok where you rate every sushi bar in the city based on some elaborate, pretentious scale?” Rey asks.

The sushi restaurant he’d treated Rey to after her stomach so rudely interrupted their moment, was delicious (of course) and Ben hadn’t even batted an eye when she ordered two entrees for herself.

Ben laughs lightly as he rolls his eyes, but keeps his focus on the road.

“What’s a tick tock?” He asks. Rey sighs and mumbles a light hearted ‘ok boomer’.

It’s nearly dark out again, sun setting across the sky, painting the whole city orange. Rey is content to watch the streets they go down, missing the people watching she’d taken to on her walks to and from work. Not that she minded missing them. In fact, she wouldn’t mind never people watching again if that meant she could spend her life like she had for the last week.

(It didn’t matter that it physically wasn’t possible; not that her hindbrain minded.)

They had been mostly silent since leaving the apartment, only speaking to each other when they thought of a funny comment (Rey) or the other had soy sauce dripping down their chin (also Rey). But the silence was never a challenge with Ben. It was his most natural state. A stoic, empathetic, fuckable redwood, that was constant and unyielding no matter the circumstance.

Rey would have told her that she loved that about him if she hadn’t been so busy shoving seared tuna into her mouth.

It’s also a comfort to see Ben’s discomfort of being too far from each other. The both had their legs pointed towards each other in the car, sat on the same side of the booth at the restaurant, bodies never more than a hair-lengths away from each other while walking. Even though she was coming down from heat, Rey was comforted by the smell of Ben. She’ll chalk it up to those pesky-post-heat jitters she can never shake.

When they pull up to her building, it’s a stark reminder just how different their worlds are. The dilapidated, moldy facade of her building was a world away from the sleek, tinted-window skyscraper that was his.

Rey had worked hard for everything she had in her life, this apartment included, but it still made her feel cheap to go back to that after a week spent in luxury. But Rey can’t help but feel that she’d be going into a five star hotel if Ben were there with her.

She looks over at him, still looking forward, and prepares to rip off the bandaid.

“Ben… thank you. For everything. I couldn’t have gotten through this without you. You’re…” _everything. The love of my life. My alpha. The only person who’s showed me this much kindness without asking anything in return. The most beautiful person in the world. My world._ “…a really good friend.”

The words feel wrong even as they come out of her mouth. His eyes snap towards her then. They’re the perfect combination of chocolaty brown and golden caramel and it make it easier to ignore the hurt that’s so openly being shown to her.

“Rey… I-” He’s cut off by the shrill sound of his phone, a name flashing cross the car console. _A. Snoke._

“You need to get back to your life, Ben. I can’t keep you with me forever.” Rey says, grabbing the her stuff. Ben tries to grab his phone from the pocket, either to silence it or answer it she’ll never know. She presses a fleeting kiss to his cheek while he’s distracted, and quickly exits the car.

She doesn’t spare a glance back at him when she enters her building.


	7. they stumble that run fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“You’re needed at the office.”_
> 
> _Five short words accompanied by a dial tone that made Ben’s blood pressure spike. It sent him in such a rage, which the leather interior of his car paid the price for. A rage that hadn’t at all calmed, but rather sizzled under a cool exterior that Ben had been mastering controlling ever since he presented. ___
> 
> __-_ _
> 
> __Ben deals with the interruption that allowed Rey to slip from him._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ....... hi guys. so, so sorry this took so long. life got in the way of fandom which is honestly just so rude of her. but real life has now been thwarted and can return to the hell-hole in which it amended from. 
> 
> thank you so much to everyone who's kudos and commented. i would literally d word for you. 
> 
> plz enjoy!

Ben has his fists clenched by his sides as he marches into the building. It’s late, but there are still plenty of people working; that First Order for you. If they don’t work you to death, they’ll hire someone to see it through.

Ben has never particularly liked his job. But liking something wasn’t a criteria Ben considered when entering the work force. If Ben only ever did things he liked, there’s a strong chance he wouldn’t have survived this long. So he continued on with a job he didn’t like, surrounded by people he didn’t care for, doing things that didn’t particularly matter to him. It suited him; it was fine.

Until now.

Ben wants to burn First Order to the ground. He wants the entire board of directors to be nothing but particles floating away in the air. He was Alister Snoke thrown off the highest cliff on Earth, and reduced to nothing but molecules that will be sucked into space.

Snoke had the audacity to call when he did, throwing Ben off his game when he should have begged Rey to say. He should have told her that he loves her and that not mating her was the hardest thing he’s ever had to do and that the incoherent babbling of their picturesque lives together will be the only thing that could make living bearable any more.

But Snoke interrupted him, with a cataclysmic timing that makes Ben paranoid he really is bugging his car, and sent Ben into such a rage that going after his omega would have been… less than ideal.

Ben’s heavy footsteps echo thought the dark halls, lit only by the few ceiling lights still shining. The hallways is long on the best of days, but right now it’s never ending. It gives Ben more time to stew in his own mind.

_“You’re needed at the office.”_

Five short words accompanied by a dial tone that made Ben’s blood pressure spike. It sent him in such a rage, which the leather interior of his car paid the price for. A rage that hadn’t at all calmed, but rather sizzled under a cool exterior that Ben had been mastering controlling ever since he presented.

Ben yanked the doors to his boss’s office open, not at all caring for any sense of decorum. Snoke was behind a sleek desk, piled with papers and office supplies and absolutely no personal touches whatsoever. Ben honestly doubts Snoke had a life beyond work and he had done nothing to the contrary.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, calling me after hours, saying nothing of use only commanding me to-”

“Six days.”

The gravely, sodden voice speaks. It’s commanding, sure, but weak. To make matters worse, Snoke hasn’t even looked up from his desk. His work never ceases, even when berating Ben.

“You went on…”heat leave” for six days with only a text to your assistant as a warning.” Ben steels himself against the floor, willing himself not to charge at him like he so desperately wants. “Do you have any idea what has been left in your absence? Of the missed opportunities? The board is hunting for blood,” Only then does Snoke raise his gaze to meet Ben’s.

“Heat leave is federally required for all employers to extend. You’re lucky I warned anyone at all,” Ben says through clenched teeth. Snoke scoffs.

“All this… designation business. It’s pathetic. You want society to treat you like an equal and yet give you a hand to hold when you ask for it. And you’re not even the worst of it. Fucking omegas and their pathetic whining. At least Alphas act like they have something to prove other than to be bread and coddled.”

Ben’s nails bite into his skin as he hold his fist down. A warm drop of blood snakes its way down his pointer finger.

“If you’re done insulting my designation now, I’d like to go clean my office out.” This makes Snoke’s whole body snap up to look at him.

“…You can’t be serious,” Is all he says.

“I am.”

Snoke rolls his eyes, and looks back towards his work.

“You quit now, and everything you’ve ever worked for, everything you’ve ever desired, will be gone. The opportunities, the status; you’ll be reduced to the same knot-headed child your mother was never able to outgrow. All for some omega with a tight cunt. You’ll be the worst version of yourself, young Solo.”

“No,” Ben starts, “The worst version of myself is whoever I am when you’re involved.”

Ben doesn’t wait for another retort before he whirls around and leaves as quickly as he came.

* * *

_Tap_. _Tap_. _Tap_. “…Rey?”

Rose’s voice is full of concern as she stands outside her bedroom door. Rey doesn’t respond. She just burrows further into her cocoon of blankets and tries to keep the early morning light out of her eyes.

She appreciates Rose’s concern, really, but it’s too much right now. Rey can’t concern herself with what her friends think of her when all she really wants to do is crawl back to Ben. The opportunity she took in the car, escaping him while he was distracted, was a vain attempt at something she now knows as fruitless.

She’d called him a _good friend_. A friend. Not boyfriend. Not mate. _A friend_.

It sounds awful even to her own ears.

Half of her wondered why. Why would you call him that? Why would you leave him? Why would you rebuke the best thing that has ever happened in your life? But the other half of her knew why. It’s the same reason he’d driven her back to her apartment. The same reason that they’d been friends for god knows how long without it ever becoming more. The same reason Ben hadn’t gone after her.

When Rey had arrived home, to a shocked Rose preparing dinner, and quickly said something about ‘still coming down from that heat high’ and promptly gone to her still-destroyed room, she’d known she wasn’t okay. Now, hours later, it was somehow worse.

Rey heard the gentle padding of Rose’s feet move away from her door as a fresh wave of tears flooded her eyes.

_Go back to Alpha. Alpha will understand. Alpha will welcome you back. Alpha will mate you, fuck you, give you strong pups, hold you, be with you. Go back to Alpha._

Rey bit her pillow, willing her hindbrain to just _stop_.

(Like many things in her life, Rey was unsuccessful in her pursuit.)

There had been a faint twinge of a scent of Ben when she’d first come back. Rey attributes it to that first night, only a few days but a lifetime ago, when Ben had come back with Rey to her apartment to get things for her nest. She can still picture him, on his knees, face smashed into her dirty, slick-stains sheets, breathing it in like his life depended on it.

There a bag of sheets, still smelling like Ben, in the living room calling out to her, but that would mean getting up, potentially facing Rose, and having to tackle a new world head on. She wasn’t ready for that yet.

Right now, all Rey wanted was to fall asleep and dream of Ben and their almost-life together, if she hadn’t been such a fuck up.

She tries to remember him, his scent, the way his hair falls in his face when he’s above her, how he manages to make any item look bite-sized in his massive hand, how he can explain something to her without mansplaining it, the way his lips aways betray his pokerface, how he’s never even given Rey the opportunity to pay for anything when he’s around, his ability to always answer the phone before the third ring; how much she loved him even before all… this.

She imagines so well, that her brain starts to pretend that his scent is getting stronger. Like, somehow his face rolling around above her mattress had somehow garnered enough of his scent to make it seem like Ben himself was coming closer.

It was a cruel, ill-fated trick that made Rey want to vomit.

Stronger and stronger it grew, until Rey had to lift her head up because she was getting dizzy off her own brain’s torture. But the moment she lifted her head, she _knew_.

Ben’s scent was getting stronger because _he_ was getting closer.

Without a second thought, Rey ripped herself from her bed and thew herself out of her room and into the living area. Rose was facing away from her, standing in the doorway to let in a very disheveled looking Ben.

Rey froze.

Ben entered the room just as Rose left it, seemingly knowing that they needed to be alone. Rey stood, still only a foot away from her door, and Ben mirrored her.

“I shouldn’t have let you leave,” He says, by way of introduction. Rey remains silent. “I should’ve come after you, but I got so angry with Snoke that if I’d gone after you, I could’ve hurt you.”

His lips tremble as he speaks, but his eyes shine with determination.

“I went back to the office, because he called me, and I quit. Right then and there. I quit and Snoke told me that I was turning my back on the best version of myself, but he couldn’t have been more wrong.”

He takes a step towards her.

“The best version of myself is not the Ben that keeps working for a blood-sucking mummy and agrees to remain friends with the the most amazing woman that’s ever existed. It’s not the guy who lets you go without telling you how he feels.”

He takes a deep breath and another step.

“The best version of me is the one with you. It’s the one where I tell you that I’ve had feelings for you since we first met. How much I wanted you but was so afraid that telling you meant loosing you and that wasn’t an option for me. The one where I tell you I love you and that not mating you this past week is a wound that I’m not sure will ever heal. But I won’t let it happen again during your next heat. Because between now and then I’m going to take you out on dates and court you properly, give you anything you could ever want so that the next time you ask me to bite you, it’ll be because you want it. Not just your omega.”

He’s inches away from her now.

“I love you, Rey. I want to spend ever heat with you. I want to mate you, to have children with you, to take you to horribly awkward family dinners where we’ll escape to go fuck in the pantry. I want to be there for you as we both find new jobs with new employers who respect us and our designations and support us when we need to leave for biological necessities. I want to be that disgusting mated couple that constantly smell like sex and spring. I want you, Rey.”

Rey throws herself at Ben. He catches, her of course.

His mouth is on hers and they’re kissing for dear life, holding onto each other with such a possessiveness that Rey isn’t sure they’ll ever part. She doesn’t mind one bit. His hands hold her, wrapping around her stomach, and her’s are tangled in his hair. She knows her breath stinks and that she’s still wearing the same clothes he dropped her off in. But Ben doesn’t seem deterred by that, so neither will she.

The kiss is intense and fast, but it feels like coming home.

When they finally break for air, and rest their foreheads together, Rey knows that everything that’s happened, her shitty childhood, his shitty job, her shitty insurance, his shitty boss, all lead her to right here. She is so, so eternally grateful.

“I love you, too, Ben. I don’t think I said that before.” Her breathing is heavy and so is his, but that doesn’t stop him from leaning down for a quick peck.

“You didn’t; but I’d very much like to hear you say it again.”

“Then I will, hopefully forever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> only the epilogue to go ໒( ♥ ◡ ♥ )७


	8. to undiscovered waters, undreamed shores

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Your grandmothers room is only one floor above us. I think it would be in poor taste to wake her up to me screaming asking you to stuff me with your cock,” Rey chides._
> 
> _She can feel Ben’s smirk against her skin. ___
> 
> __-_ _
> 
> __A glimpse into the rest of Ben and Rey's life._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello my loves! this is the last chapter of one of my favorite stories I've ever written, and i'm honestly a little sad. this particular ben & rey have a very special place in my heart and closing out this story has been a little difficult for me. 
> 
> but most importantly, thank you so much to all who've liked/kudosed/followed along with this journey and a huge thank you to everyone who's commented. all your love means so much to me and it wouldn't be this special without it. 
> 
> i love you all.

She wakes up with him pulling her nightgown above her waist. His whole body is covered by the comforter as he kisses his way up the tops of her thighs, nose going to rub between her legs. Rey opens wider for him, welcoming Ben’s devilish tongue between her. Once he realizes she’s awake, his hands wrap around her thighs and pull her closer to him.

She likes it like this, when he manhandles her just enough to remind her that he’s the Alpha. She brings the comforter to her mouth to bite her moans into when his tongue starts tracing her slit. She’s already wet, because she’s always wet these days, and Ben sucks down her juices like its his favorite drink. (He once told her that it was.)

His mouth gets braver as his tongue delves deeper, and his noes rubs perfectly on her clit. He uses his teeth to light nip at her labia, causing Rey to yelp. She can feel the reverberations from Ben though the bed. She stuffs more of the comforter into her mouth to help keep her quiet. Rey wiggles her hips, attempting to buck into him. Ben meets her rocking with a determined mouth, licking and sucking harder to appease her.

It doesn’t take long for him to bring her to orgasm, moans stopped by the fabric in her mouth as her cunt pours for Ben. He stays down there, licking her up and sucking her for a little while afterwards, then proceeds to kiss his way up her body, stopping to suck her nipples thought he silk gown for a moment. When his head of luscious black hair finally emerges from beneath the covers, Rey tugs on his ear.

“Ow!” Ben whines when she does it. He looks down at her grumpily, but still kisses his way across her face. “Is that the reward it get for making you come?”

“It’s the punishment you get for nearly making me scream,” She whispers into his lips. Ben sighs and drops his head to her shoulder.

“Baby, the house has like 27 rooms. We pretty much have a whole wing to ourselves. We can be a little loud,” Ben says. He sounds exasperated, which he undoubtedly is, but Rey still can’t find it within herself to release the banshee within while in his family’s ancestral home.

“Your grandmothers room is only one floor above us. I think it would be in poor taste to wake her up to me screaming asking you to stuff me with your cock,” Rey chides. She can feel Ben’s smirk against her skin.

“Is that really what you want to do? Scream for my cock?” Ben kisses up her shoulder, making Rey shiver. “You don’t have to scream, you know. All my mate needs to do is ask.” Ben pushes his cock into her hip, letting Rey know that he’s ready. She can already feel the swelling down at the base. “I’ll give you anything you want, sweetheart.”

Rey whimpers as he begins to shift and stroke her cunt with the head of his cock. No matter how many times she takes him (and she takes him _a lot_ ), the first stretch when he enters her will aways burn in the most delicious way.

“Please…” She pant, “I want you to put your cock in me…”

Ben hums and continues to tease her entrance.

“Who’s cock do you want, baby. Tell me.”

“Yours. My alpha. My husband. _My mate_ …”

He thrust home at that, holding her hips down to take all of him at once. They both groan into each others mouth, tongues intertwined and hands feeling the other all over. Ben knows Rey like it when his chest moves along hers, tugging at her nipple, so he holds them closer together. Rey tugs at the hair on the base of his skull, a trick she discovered always works him up quickly. Ben whines when she tugs and thrust his hips harder into her.

Rey hangs onto Ben as he mercilessly fucks her, happy to swallow all her moans into his mouth. His free hand searches for hers, and pins it down and interlocks their fingers when he finds it.

“Such a good omega,” He whispers to her. “My strong, tight mate. Letting her alpha fuck her little cunt. Such a good girl.”

Rey keens into him, feeling herself approach her second orgasm of the morning. His knot grows with each thrust, and she knows Ben is trying to prolong this. Ever since they mated (but really their whole relationship), they’re both found it increasingly difficult to last very long. _‘I could come just thinking about you,’_ Ben tells her, only days after they’ve mated. The issue of not being able to get _there_ with a partner after so long clearly doesn’t apply to them. They’re okay with that.

Ben snakes a hand between them to furiously rub at her clit, trying to get Rey to orgasm in time with him. Moments later, his knot catches and Ben moans into Rey’s mouth, spilling hot and wet inside of her. Rey places her hand above his and maneuvers his fingers to bring her release, gasping and clutching him even tighter. Ben holds her close as his cock continues to spurt into Rey.

They lie with him on top of her, arms securely wrapped around each other, until their breathing slows and it becomes too difficult to ignore the sunlight creeping in the large windows above them. Rey runs her fingers through Ben’s hair and lovingly pets the tips of his ears, which are still beet-red.

“We should probably get up for breakfast soon.” She says. Ben mumbles something that sound like ‘I already ate’ into her skin. His knot is still holding tight within her, so Ben can only pull back slightly to look at her.

“I think we should stay in here all day. Stay locked on my knot until the sun goes down. That sounds a lot better than decorating the ridiculous tree with my family.”

“We do that every weekend, Ben. Tree decorating only happens once a year, and I will not be missing my first mated Christmas tree decorating.”

Ben gives Rey puppy dog eyes as he stares down at her. She looks up at him hopefully, trying to convince him of this, even if detangling from him seems like an insurmountable task.

“You said all I had to do was ask, alpha,” She blinks up at him.

A soft smile appears on the corner of his lips, and Rey knows she’s won.

* * *

“Okay, I’m thinking about color blocking this year. Have you heard of that? Color blocking? I read the most wonderful Vogue article about it- I’ll send it to you in an email- and I think it would really spark up the tree this year,” Leia explains to Rey and Ben.

Han grumbles something about liking ‘just a tree and lights’ and Ben agrees with him. Rey gives Ben a reassuring pat on his but to remind him of where he is.

“That sounds like a good idea, Leia. What about you, Grandma Padmé?” Rey asks.

“That does sound rather fashionable, sweetheart. I think that would be lovely,” She says. Leia smiles triumphantly while Ben and Han begin unpacking the new ornament they’ve had shipped to the estate.

“You know, I had originally planned to have an all white Christmas tree,” Leia says, not speaking to anybody in particular, but Rey knows exactly what she’s aiming towards. “I thought it would go so nicely as a backdrop for wedding pictures of my _only_ child and his gorgeous bride. I had it all picked out; the white poinsettias, the white bulbs, even stuffed doves to sit on the branches,” Leia continues. “Too bad they completely left me out of their wedding without even a picture to show off.”

Rey glances over at Ben who is rolling his eyes so hard she can almost hear it.

“Mom, for the _millionth_ time; we’re sorry. It was a last minute thing. You would’ve been our first call if we had called anyone,” Ben says, pointedly avoiding the glare from his mother. “And we did take a picture.”

“Ha!” Leia shouts. “A picture? No Benjamin, you took a blurry selfie of you two making out in front of city hall and had the audacity to tell me you were married by sending it to me?”

“Oh god…” Han sighs and sets down the box of blue ornaments to pour himself some more scotch. Rey would give anything to ask him to pour her one too.

“You’re lucky we took a picture at all! We were a little pressed for time. Rey was only a few hours away from heat,” Ben says, while aggressively placing ornaments on the tree. Rey steadily passes them to Ben, hoping to make herself be as small as humanly possible. Leia is also decorating with an intensity that is slightly scary, and Han looks over to Rey and gives her a sympathetic shrug. _‘Welcome to the family_ ,’ he mouths. 

“And you didn’t think to, I don’t know, wait until after? Or at least give me a call? I could’ve arranged for a Kennedy-like wedding within 45 minutes, Ben, you know that.”

“Oh, I do know that. Its why we didn’t call. We wanted to go to city hall; you would have never stood for it.”

“We really are sorry, Leia,” Rey finally pipes up.

“Oh, I don’t blame you in the least dear,” Leia says, voice soft as she speaks to her. “I blame my son,” Her voice becomes harsher. “First you don’t invite us to the wedding, you get mated without warning us ahead of time, and now what’s next? You’ll have a baby and wait until it’s two to even tell me about it?”

Ben glances down at Rey, a small smile playing on his lips. She feels her cheeks heat.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Mom. We’d definitely tell you before their first birthday,” Ben jokes, earning a slightly incredulous gasp from Leia.

“He’s kidding, he’s kidding!” Rey says as she jumps up, trying to create some levity. “You would be the first person we told, Leia.” Leia softens at this, and turn her attention back to the tree. Rey presses a sweet kiss to Ben’s cheek, quietly telling him to ‘cool it.’ When she pulls back, he’s smirking and pulls her right back in to plant a wet kiss on her lips. Even with the audience of his family, (their family, now) Rey can’t help but melt into the kiss.

Someone clears their throat behind them, so Rey pulls back from the kiss and goes back to her decorating job. Ben only pouts for a minute before doing the same.

“… In all seriousness, though,” Leia starts after a minute. Ben sighs. “We are going to get that, right? A couple little grand babies?” Leia asks.

“Great-grand babies?” Grandma Padmé pipes up.

“We’re working on it,” Ben grumbles, seemingly too focused on getting a ribbon to sit perfectly on a branch to really mind what he’s saying.

“Oh, we _know_ you’ve been working on it,” Luke says, walking in from the kitchen with a fresh batch of his vegan cookies. “We heard you working on this morning, and _several_ times last night.”

The color drains from Rey’s face as she looks up at Ben with abject horror. Ben is still looking at the tree, but she can see the red blush bloom across his face and ears.

“You said there was no way!” Rey cries, gripping a glass bulb a little too hard.

“Lay off the kids, would ya?” Han asks. “They’ve only been mated for 10 weeks! We’re lucky they actually leave their room at all.”

“Han’s right.” Padmé says. Rey drops her head into her hands as she attempts to disassociate from the conversation. “Anakin and I didn’t go out in public for nearly 8 months once we were mated!”

“I don’t think Han and I spent even one night apart until five years in. It’s perfectly natural.” Leia chimes up. The entire family keeping talking, but it just becomes white noise to Rey. She feels Ben crouch down to her level and kiss her fingertips that rest on her forehead.

“Sweetheart?” He asks, voice low so only she can hear. “Are you alright?” Rey groans into her palms. Ben gently pulls her wrist back so he can see her face.

Every time she looks at him, Rey swears her heart skips a beat. Looking at Ben is like seeing colors for the first time, or the first time you eat your favorite food. Rey doesn’t care to think of their lives before they were together. Of the monotony and pain of being so close to your soulmate, but never quite having them in your grasp.

In the year since they first got together, Rey and Ben have made it their mission to make a life together. By telling their friends who were not at all surprised. By quitting their soul sucking jobs and finding something better. By moving into an apartment, not quite as fancy as Ben’s old one, but a home they made together. By learning to be happy and fight and love and be with each other, no matter what.

When Rey see’s Ben’s face, she’s reminded of all the love she’s ever felt in her life, like night Ben confessed his love, or when inconspicuously left print outs of different apartments they should look at, or when he purposed after only four months, or how it felt when they were eating breakfast across from city hall one day and they both caught a glimpse of a newly married couple bounding down the steps. And how it felt when Ben finally sunk his teeth into the pulsing gland on her neck, forever tying them in a way Rey thinks they may as well have been after they first shook hands.

And every time she see’s his face, Rey thinks ‘t _his is it. This is the most love I’ll ever feel_ ’ even though she knows she’s wrong. Because she knows she’ll wake up tomorrow and think the same thing. And on Christmas morning (her first Christmas with a family). And on midnight on new years. And when she first gets to hold the baby growing inside of her, in her arms.

But right now, looking at Ben surrounded by a Christmas tree that would rival the one in Rockefeller Plaza, and the loving family who love her just as much as they love Ben, Rey thinks that this is, in fact the most love she’s ever felt.

“Rey?” Ben asks again, soothingly rubbing his thumbs around her wrist, looking at her like he see’s and feel’s everything that she does. “Are you with me?”

“Of course, Ben. I’m with you forever.”

* * *

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come say hi on [twitter](https://twitter.com/ehstarwar) and [tumblr](https://ehstarwar.tumblr.com)!

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on [tumblr](https://ehstarwar.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/ehstarwar)


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